What is Emotional Intelligence情商是什么

What is Emotional Intelligence?情商是什么？

Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90 per cent of top performers have high emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results. All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Research shows that only 36 per cent of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.

数十年的研究现都指向情商，这一使明星表演者与众不同的关键因素。这种关联性很强，90%的顶级表演者情商都比较高。情商是每个人身上都有的一种无形的“东西”，它影响我们怎样管理自己的行为、处理社交以及为取得成就做出个人决定。所有人都有不同的情绪，但只有少数人能够准确地意识到情绪的变化。研究表明只有36%的人能够做到这一点，这是有问题的，因为未识别的情绪经常造成误解，使人做出荒谬的选择，采取事与愿违的行动。

So what follows are sure signs that you have a high EQ :

情商高的人肯定都具有以下特点：

You have a robust emotional vocabulary有丰富的情绪词汇

People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

情商高的人可以掌控自己的情绪，因为他们可以通过丰富的情感词汇来了解各种情绪。大多数人或许只是简单的将自己的情绪描述为“不好”，而情商高的人能够准确地将自己的情绪描述为“愤怒”、“受挫”、“压抑”或“焦虑”。选词越具体，对究竟感觉如何、什么原因导致的以及该怎么办的了解就越到位。

You’re curious about people对他人感到好奇

It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.

无论内向还是外向性格，情商高的人对身边的每个人都感到好奇。这种好奇是因为同情产生的，同情是通向高智商的重要通道之一。越关心他人以及他人的经历，就对他们越好奇。

You embrace change拥抱变化

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these changes occur.

情商高的人应变能力和适应能力比较强。他们知道畏惧变化会阻碍他们取得成功和快乐。他们寻找身边潜在的变化，然后制定应对变化的行动计划。

You know your strengths and weaknesses了解自己的优缺点

Emotionally intelligent people don’t just understand emotions; they know what they’re good at and what they’re terrible at. They also know who pushes their buttons and the environments (both situations and people) that enable them to succeed. Having a high EQ means you know your strengths and you know how to lean into them and use them to your full advantage while keeping your weaknesses from holding you back.

情商高的人不仅了解自己的情绪，而且知道自己擅长什么，不擅长什么，如何权衡自己的优缺点，了解取得成功的环境（局势和人员）。情商高的人知道自己的优势，知道如何充分利用自己的优势，避开自己的劣势。

You’re a good judge of character能够很好地判断人的性格特点

Much of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness; the ability to read other people, know what they’re about, and understand what they’re going through. Over time, this skill makes you an exceptional judge of character. People are no mystery to you. You know what they’re all about and und erstand their motivations, even those that lie hidden beneath the surface.

情商从很大程度上可以归为社会意识——读懂他人的能力，知道他们什么样，了解他们正在经历着什么。随着时间的推移，这种技能可以让你能够很好地判断人的性格特点。对你而言，大家不再那么神秘，你知道他们都什么样，了解他们的动机，甚至那些隐藏在表面下的动机。

You are difficult to offend不容易被冒犯

If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin. You may even poke fun at yourself or let other

people make jokes about you because you are able to mentally draw the line between humor and degradation.

如果一个人非常清楚自己是谁，就不会轻易被他人所说或所做惹怒。情商高的人自信而且性格开朗，不容易受到他人言行的负面影响。情商高的人甚至有可能会拿自己开玩笑，或者让别人拿自己开玩笑，因为他们意识里清楚幽默和贬低之间的区别。

You know how to say no (to yourself and others)知道如何拒绝（自己和他人）Emotional intelligence means knowing how to exert self-control. You delay gratification, and you avoid impulsive action. Research conducted at the University of California, San Francisco, shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Saying no is indeed a major self-control challenge for many people. “No” is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

情商高意味着知道如何进行自控。情商高的人会延迟满意，避免冲动行为。在旧金山加利福尼亚大学的调查显示说“不”越难，承受压力、感到精疲力竭甚至沮丧的可能性就越大。对很多人来说，说“不”是确实是进行自控的一个大挑战。“不”是一个有力度的词，不应该不敢用它。该说“不”时，情商高的人不会表达成“我认为我不能”或者“我不确定”。对新的承诺说“不”是在履行现在的承诺，这让你有机会成功兑现现在的承诺。

You let go of mistakes放下自己犯的错误

Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success. It takes refined self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting about them completely makes you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall down.

情商高的人能够从错误的阴影中走出来，但不会忘记自己犯的错误。与错误保持安全距离，但仍然随时可以借鉴，这样他们能够为未来取得成功进行调整。行走在停留和记忆之间的钢丝绳上，需要很高的自我意识。在自己的错误上停留的时间太长会感到焦虑和胆怯，而彻底忘记错误必定会重蹈覆辙。平衡好两者的关键在于将失败转化为前进的动力的能力。这会产生跌倒后要重新站起来的欲望。

You give and expect nothing in return不求回报的给予

When someone gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, this leaves a powerful impression. For example, you might have an interesting conversation with someone about a book, and when you see them again a month later, you show up with the book in hand. Emotionally intelligent people build strong relationships because they are constantly thinking about others.

有人自发地给予你什么，而且不求回报时，会给你留下很深的印象。例如，你和某人就一本书交谈的很愉快，一个月后再和这个人见面时，手里拿着这本书。情商高的人经常为他人着想，从而与他人建立良好的关系。

Yo u don’t hold grudges不会心怀怨恨

The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. When the threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.

心怀怨恨的负面情绪实际上是一种应激反应。只想这件事，身体就会进入战斗-或-战斗状态。面临威胁时，求生机制会迫使你站起来去战斗或抢占山顶，如果这种威胁近在眼前，这种反应是求生所必要的，但是如果这种威胁是很久以前的，处于应激状态会对身体造成破坏，长期这样会严重影响健康。事实上，埃默里大学的研究员们认为一直处于应激状态会导致血压高和心脏疾病。心怀怨恨意味着处于应激状态。情商高的人知道要不惜一切代价避免心怀怨恨。放下怨恨，不仅让你感觉更好，而且可以改善健康。

You neutralize toxic people能够中和有毒的人

Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. High EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person’s standpoi nt and are able to find solutions and common ground. Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.

与难相处的人打交道，大多数人都会受挫，感到无计可施。与有毒的人交往时，情商高的人通过不断检查自己的感受来控制局面，需要面对有毒的人时，他们理性应对。他们调整好自己的情绪，避免愤怒或挫败感扰乱局面。此外，他们会考虑难相

处的人的立场，而且能够找到解决途径并达成一致。即便局面失控，情商高的人会对有毒的人持保留态度，以避免让有毒的人击败自己。

You don’t seek perfection不追求完美

Emotionall y intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you’ve achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.

情商高的人不会把完美设为自己的目标，因为他们知道完美并不存在。人天生就会犯错误，如果把完美设为目标，就会被失败埋没，想放弃或不再努力，最后时间全花费在惋惜自己没有完成的事情上和还有什么不同的做法上，而不是继续前进，为自己已取得和将要取得的成绩感到兴奋。

You appreciate what you have 珍惜自己拥有的

Taking time to contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the right thing to do; it also improves your mood because it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23 per cent. Research conducted at the University of California, Davis, found that people who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood, energy, and physical well-being. It’s likely that lower levels of cortisol played a major role in this.

花时间想一想自己感激的事情不仅仅是在做一件正确的事情，而且它还可以改善心情，因为它可以降低23%的压力荷尔蒙皮质醇。在加利福尼亚大学进行的一项研究发现每天培养感激的态度的人们心情在不断变好，这有可能是皮质醇降低起了主要作用。

You disconnect 定期休息

Taking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps you to keep your stress under control and to live in the moment. When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors. Forcing yourself offline and even–gulp!–turning off your phone gives your body and mind a break. Studies have shown that something as simple as an e-mail break can lower stress levels. Technology enables constant communication and the expectation that you should be available 24/7. It is extremely difficult to enjoy a stress-free moment outside of work when an e-mail that will change your train of thought and get you thinking (read: stressing) about work can drop onto your phone at any moment.

定期休息是高情商的表现，因为这有助于调整好自己的压力和现在的生活。如果让自己24小时&7天工作，无疑是让自己长期处于高压状态下。强迫自己休息，甚至

—深呼吸！—关掉手机，给自己的身体和大脑休息时间。研究已表明像远离邮件这样简单的事情就可以减压。技术实现了沟通畅通，同期望你24小时&7天保持通讯畅通。工作之外享受无压力的时光是极其困难的，如果手机能够随时接收到工作邮件，就会打断你现在的思路，让你想起工作（阅读：压力）。

You limit your caffeine intake控制咖啡因用量

Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, and adrenaline is the source of the fight-or-flight response. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasin g you, but not so great when you’re responding to a curt e-mail. When caffeine puts your brain and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress, your emotions overrun your behavior. Caffeine’s long half-life ensures you stay this way as it takes its sweet time working its way out of your body. High-EQ individuals know that caffeine is trouble, and they don’t let it get the better of them.

过量饮用咖啡因，身体会释放肾上腺素，而肾上腺素引发战斗-或-战斗反应。战斗-或-战斗机制让理性思考让步于快速响应，以确保逃生。当有一只熊在后面追你时，这一点尤其明显，但当你回复一封普通邮件时，这一点就没那么明显了。当咖啡因让你的大脑和身体进入压力的这种高度亢奋状态时，你的情绪就会超过你的行为。咖啡因的长半衰期使你一直处于这种状态，它则有充分的时间从身体排出。情商高的人知道咖啡因会给自己带来麻烦，所以不会让它打败自己。

You get enough sleep 充足的睡眠

It’s difficult to overstate the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams) so that you wake up alert and clearheaded. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when they don’t get enough–or the right kind–of sleep. So, they make sleep a top priority.

夸大睡眠对提高情商和管理压力的重要性并不容易。睡觉时，大脑直接进行再充电，回放白天的记忆，然后存储或删掉这些记忆（使人做梦），醒来后，精神焕发，头脑清醒。情商高的人知道如果睡眠不足或不好，自己的自控能力、注意力以及记忆力会下降，因此，他们重视睡眠。

You stop negative self-talk in its tracks 摒弃负面想法

The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that–thoughts, not facts. When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural tendency to perceive threats (inflating the frequency or severity of an event). Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts

from the facts in order to escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive, new outlook.

沉浸在负面想法中的时间越长，赋予负面想法的力量就越大。大多数负面想法仅仅是想法，并非事实。当感觉什么经常或绝不会发生时，这只是大脑自然倾向于将其视为威胁（夸大事情的发生频次或严重度）。情商高的人分得清想法和事实，避免进入负面循环，保持积极乐观的态度。

You won’t let anyone limit your joy不让任何人影响你的快乐

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.

如果你的快乐感和满意感来自他人的评价，你就不再是自己幸福的主宰者。对于情商高的人而言，如果他们感觉自己做的某件事不错，他们不会让别人的评价或刻薄的话破坏自己的感觉。然而对他人的评价无动于衷是不可能的，但不必拿自己跟别人比较，而且可以对别人的观点持保留态度。这样，无论他人在想什么或做什么，你的自我价值来自自己内心。