12 Toxic Thoughts You Need To Drop For A Better Life

无法改变的事情就是事实。如果你的老板是个混蛋,你不能改变这一点。你可以换工作,但不能去换老板。你不能改变必须交房租或者还贷款的事实,但你能让自己停止抵制。抵制不能改变的事实只能让你愈加受挫让你狼狈不堪。因此改变你能改变的,接受你不能改变的。

4. Thinking that “The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side.”

“If only I was as pretty as that girl, then I’d be happy.” Or “If only I was as rich as that guy, then I’d be happy.” Those kinds of thoughts aren’t true. Just because you think someone else has it better than you doesn’t mean they do. Maybe the pretty girl came from an abusive home and can’t get her life in order. And maybe the rich guy spends so much time at work that he never gets to see his family. The grass is not greener on the other side. So appreciate the grass you have. It’s your grass. So love it.

4.认为“另一边的草总是比较绿”

“要是我和那个女孩一样漂亮我就能开心了”,“如果我跟那家伙一样有钱,我就开心了”,这些想法是不对的。仅仅因为你认为别人的东西比自己的好并不意味这就是事实。那个漂亮女孩可能来自一个施暴家庭,无法掌握自己的生活;那个有钱人可能因为长时间工作见不到家人。别人的东西并不总比自己的好。好好欣赏你的绿草吧,那是你的,好好爱它。

5. Having expectations of other people.

Expectations can be deadly to happiness, even if you think your expectation is reasonable, such as having your roommate or spouse do his/her share of the chores around the house. Just because you expect it doesn’t mean they will do it. Realize that your expectations come from your personal experiences and biases. They are not necessarily other people’s priority. You probably don’t like being expected to do things that you don’t want to do, so don’t impose your expectations on others. If you don’t like their behavior, either accept it, or move on.

5.对别人有所期待。

有所期待对一个人的幸福感有可能是致命的伤害,即使你认为你的期望是合理的,比如让你室友或配偶做他们该做的那份家务。仅仅因为你期望他们这样做并不代表他们就会做家务。记得你的期望源于你的经验及偏见。这些期望并不见得是别人优先考虑的事。

你自己可能也不喜欢做自己不想做而别人又期待你做的事情吧,所以不要把自己的期望强加在别人身上。如果你不喜欢他们的行为,要么接受,要么继续自己的生活。

6.Thinking that having a significant other will complete you.

If you are not a whole person already, then having a romantic partner will not make you whole. Plus, it puts a lot of pressure on the other person to “make you happy.” You need to be happy with yourself with or without someone. Having a significant other doesn’t make you happier. Only you can make yourself happy.

6. 认为找到另一半就能让自己完整

如果你已经不完整了,那么一个爱人也不能让你有所改观。况且这样做还会让你的另一半很有压力,因为他要承担“使你快乐”的责任。你需要快乐,不管有没有这样一个人。找另一半并不能真正让你快乐起来,只有自己才能让自己快乐。

7. Feeling that you always need to prove that you are right.

I always wonder why people will fight to the death to prove they ar e “right.” What’s the point? I think it’s because they don’t want to look weak. Or vulnerable.Or stupid. But I think admitting you are wrong is a much more noble and mature thing to do. Besides, everyone has a different opinion. So why not have yours and let them have theirs?

7认为自己时时刻刻都需要向人证明自己是正确的。

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