The Grass Is Always Greener Syndrome

The Grass Is Always Greener Syndrome

I had a client last year who, in her own words, suffered terribly from the "grass is always greener" syndrome. She had initially called me about two months before her wedding and couldn't stop crying throughout her session because she was so tortured by the thought that she was making a mistake. She had been with her fiance for about five years but had struggled almost from the beginning with wondering if she was with the "right" man.

At the root of the problem was her inability to let go of an ex-boyfriend. I'm not sure I can even qualify this other man as a boyfriend as he never fully committed to her. In fact, from the beginning, he frequently had women on the side. He lied to her, cheated on her, and was, in a word, a jerk. And even though she knew that he wasn't a good partner and that he would only bring her misery, even though he had broken her trust and her heart repeatedly, she couldn't stop thinking about him. Sure, he was witty and smart, but that wasn't what hooked her. The hook was the sex.

She had had great sex with him and had never experienced the equivalent with her husband. And although we talked repeatedly about the theory that great sex often comes at a great cost when it's with someone who's unavailable and that, in fact, great sex is often the result of being with someone who's unavailable, she couldn't cut the ties with this other guy and give her husband a chance. And the truth is that she had never given her husband a fair shot. From the beginning, her heart and mind and body were still attached (addicted to) the jerk. Equating sex with love, she was completely convinced that she would never feel in love with her husband.

Let me paint the picture of each guy:

Jerk:

Cheater, liar, obsessed with sex, never able to commit to her, broke her heart repeatedly, still contacts her and flirts with her even though they're both married.

Husband:

Responsible, kind, honest, loves her completely, willing to work on their relationship, funny, sweet, sensitive, creative, romantic, stable profession, salt of the earth.

Hmmm ...

Her situation was frustrating, to say the least. Here she was, married to a wonderful man, and she couldn't see the forest for the trees; she only had sights for the jerk. And not only was she with a great guy, they lived in a picturesque town, both had stable jobs, enjoyed spending time together, laughed a lot, had similar interests, and were truly fond of each other. But as long as she was hooked on the other guy, she wasn't allowing herself even the chance to fall in love with her husband and embrace their lovely life. She wasn't present in her life at all and, as a result, the beauty of it was passing her by.

Then, for a brief window of time, she was blessed with a reprieve. For three days, the film of the other guy was peeled away and she truly saw her life as it was. Gratitude replaced the negative script. She realized how lucky she was to be married to such a great guy and to be living this charmed life. For the first time in years, she felt happy. It was as if the duality of the "grass is always greener" syndrome merged into a single vision, allowing her to be present and to see, really see, the life she was living.

And then, as quickly as it opened, the window shut. She was back to ruminating about the other guy, back to nitpicking her husband, back to crafting escape fantasies for how she could remove herself from her marriage. Back to avoiding the core feelings that were contributing to her "grass is always greener" syndrome: the grief of letting go of being single, the fear of growing up fully into adulthood, the uncertainty that precedes the acceptance that life is mysterious and without certainties or guarantees, the fear of allowing herself to surrender into the intimacy that her husband was offering, the refusal to take responsibility for her feelings, whether of grief and loss, her sexuality, or her fear.

Is it possible that -- as she constantly agonized over it -- she just didn't love her husband and never would? Of course it's possible, but it's not likely. And she would never find out the truth as long as she remained obsessed with the jerk. Something in her was drawn to her husband from the beginning. In fact, she was the one who spotted him across the room, thought he was cute, and moved toward him. Something inside of her was attracted to his goodness and his capacity for commitment and real love.

I would venture to say that it was something healthy inside of her that was drawn to a healthy man and something unhealthy that was drawn to an unhealthy man. But no matter how many times we discussed it, she would still come back to the same question: Maybe I just don't love my husband.

Happily, most of my clients are able to work through the issues that prevent them from embracing their partner and their life. They're able to address the fear, process the grief, and ultimately take responsibility

for the thoughts that are creating their anxiety and causing them to project the negativity onto their partner. It takes a lot of work, but the efforts are well worth it because they inevitably are able to embrace the goodness and blessings of the life they're living. As for this client, the outcome remains to be seen. I can only hope that through a commitment to a process of self-responsibility and the gift of grace, she'll be able to appreciate the wonderful man and potential for a great marriage that stand before her.

英语阅读系列·有趣的字母

英语阅读系列·有趣的字母

攀登英语阅读系列·有趣的字母 北京师范大学“认知神经科学与学习”国家重点实验室攀登英语项目组编著 Lesson1 Frank the Rat 大老鼠弗兰克Frank the rat is in a bag. 大老鼠弗兰克在袋子里呢。 Frank is in a hat. 他在圆顶帽子里呢。 Frank is in a pan. 他在平底锅里呢。 Frank is on an apple. 他在苹果上呢。 Frank is on a bat. 他在球棒上呢。 “Oh, no!” Frank is on a cat. “噢，糟了！”弗兰克落在了猫身上！ Lesson 2 The Biscuits 我们来做饼干“I’m hungry!”“我饿了！” A biscuit…一块饼干可以是...... A biscuit can be a bus. 一块饼干可以是公共汽车。 A biscuit can be a bike. 和一块饼干可以是自行车。 A biscuit can be a boat. 一块饼干可以是小船。 A biscuit can be a banana. 一块饼干可以是香蕉。

A biscuit can be a bear. 一块饼干可以是小熊。 A biscuit can be a butterfly. 一块饼干可以是蝴蝶。 But…If birds are nearby…但是…..如果小鸟恰好在旁边的话…… The biscuits can only be birds.饼干就只是小鸟啦。 Lesson 3 Cool Cat 酷猫卡里 Cary is a cool cat. 卡里是只酷酷的小猫。 Cary can cut carrots like this. 卡里能像这样切胡萝卜。 Cary can climb a coconut tree like this. 卡里能像这样爬树。 Cary can clean a crocodile like this. 卡里能像这样清理鳄鱼。 Cary can catch flies like this. 卡里能像这样抓苍蝇。 Can Cary color like this? 卡里能像这样涂色吗？ Yes! Cary is a cool cat. 是的！卡里是只酷酷的小猫。 Lesson 4 Dancing Dad 爸爸爱跳舞

一年级攀登英语一级A教学计划

一年级攀登英语一级A教学计划 一年级攀登英语一级A教学计划 1、激发学生学习英语的兴趣,培养他们学习英语的积极态度,使他们初步建立学习英语的自信心。 2、培养学生具有一定的语感和良好的语音、语调及书写基础,以及良好的学习习惯。 3、培养学生的观察、记忆、思维、想象和创造能力。 一年级攀登英语一级A教学计划 (20**学年度第一学期) 本学期我担任一年级4个班的攀登英语教学工作,现我对本学期教学工作做如下计划: 一、学生情况分析 一年级的孩子的年龄多为6周岁,具有好奇、好活动、爱表现、善模仿等特点。他们的学习兴趣很浓,接受能力、模仿能力很强,学习习惯初步养成,因此在本学期应注重培养学生良好的学习习惯,训练学生的听说能力,调动他们的自主能动性、积极性,营造互帮互助,共同学习英语的语境。 二、教学目标 1、激发学生学习英语的兴趣,培养他们学习英语的积极态度,使他们初步建立学习英语的自信心。 2、培养学生具有一定的语感和良好的语音、语调及书写基础,以及良好的学习习惯。

3、培养学生的观察、记忆、思维、想象和创造能力能在图片、手势、情境等非语言提示的帮助下,听懂清晰的话语和录音。 三、教材分析 本书共由五部分构成:本册教材学习内容包括:日常英语(Everyday English)、歌曲童谣(Songs and Chants).动画英语(Cartoon English)等 1、日常英语:与学生日常生活密切相关的情景对话,共12个话题,每个话题包括2-4句情景对话。 2、动画英语:以《迪士尼神奇英语》(上)VCD为基本学习材料。 共6张VCD,12课,每课4个小节,由学生熟悉和喜欢的迪士尼动画片片段组合而成。 3、歌曲童谣:包括歌曲和童谣两大块,其中有精心制作的传统英文经典歌曲,也有攀登英语独创的童谣日常英语替换内容:以日常英语重 点句型为主线,结合歌曲童谣和动画英语中高频出现的词汇进行的开放性交替。 5、节奏英语:将日常英语替换内容编成12段朗朗上口的韵文,并 配以节奏明快的背景音乐形成的独特学习内容。 四、教学措施 1、考虑到小学生好动爱玩的特点,以活动为课堂教学的主要形式,设计丰富多彩的教学活动,让学生在乐中学、学中用,从而保证学生英 语学习的可持续性发展。 2、通过听、说、读、写、唱、游、演、画、做等形式,进行大量 的语言操练和练习。

英语阅读系列·有趣的字母

攀登英语阅读系列·有趣的字母 北京师范大学“认知神经科学与学习”国家重点实验室攀登英语项目组编著 Lesson1Frank the Rat 大老鼠弗兰克 Frank the rat is in a bag. 大老鼠弗兰克在袋子里呢。 Frank is in a hat. 他在圆顶帽子里呢。 Frank is in a pan. 他在平底锅里呢。 Frank is on an apple. 他在苹果上呢。 Frank is on a bat. 他在球棒上呢。 “Oh, no!” Frank is on a cat. “噢，糟了！”弗兰克落在了猫身上！ Lesson 2 The Biscuits 我们来做饼干 “I’m hungry!”“我饿了！” A biscuit…一块饼干可以是...... A biscuit can be a bus.一块饼干可以是公共汽车。 A biscuit canbe a bike. 和一块饼干可以是自行车。 A biscuit can be a boat. 一块饼干可以是小船。 A biscuit can be a banana. 一块饼干可以是香蕉。 A biscuit can be a bear. 一块饼干可以是小熊。 A biscuit can be a butterfly. 一块饼干可以是蝴蝶。 But…If birds are nearby…但是…..如果小鸟恰好在旁边的话…… The biscuits can only be birds.饼干就只是小鸟啦。 Lesson 3 Cool Cat 酷猫卡里 Cary is a cool cat. 卡里是只酷酷的小猫。 Cary can cut carrots like this. 卡里能像这样切胡萝卜。 Cary can climb a coconut tree like this. 卡里能像这样爬树。 Cary can clean a crocodile like this. 卡里能像这样清理鳄鱼。 Cary can catch flies like this.卡里能像这样抓苍蝇。 Can Cary color like this? 卡里能像这样涂色吗？ Yes! Cary is a cool cat. 是的！卡里是只酷酷的小猫。 Lesson 4 Dancing Dad 爸爸爱跳舞 Dad loves dancing! 爸爸爱跳舞！ Dad is dancing with the desk. 他和桌子一起跳。 Dad is dancing with the duck. 他和鸭子一起跳。 Dad is dancing with the door. 他和门一起跳。 Dad is dancing with the dog. 他和小狗一起跳。 Dad is dancing with the deer. 他和小鹿一起跳。 Where is Dad? 爸爸在哪儿呀？ Wow！哇！ What a dancing Dad! 真是个爱跳舞的爸爸！ Lesson 5 Red Ben 小本的红色世界 Ben likes red. 小本喜欢红色。 Ben paints the eggs red. 他把鸡蛋涂成红色。 Ben paints the eggplants red. 他把茄子涂成红色。 Ben paints the lemons red. 他把柠檬涂成红色。

(完整版)攀登英语-有趣的字母(中英文_纯文字_26篇全)

攀登英语——有趣的字母 A: Frank the rat 老鼠弗兰克 Frank the rat is in a bag. 大老鼠弗兰克在袋子里。 Frank is in a hat. 弗兰克在圆顶帽子里。 Frank is in a pan. 弗兰克在平底锅里。 Frank is on an apple. 弗兰克在苹果里。 Frank is on a bat. 弗兰克在球棒上。 “Oh/no!”F r ank is on a cat. “哦?不！”弗兰克落在了猫身上。 B：The Biscuits 饼干 “I’m h ungry!”“我饿了!” A biscuit, —块饼干 A biscuit can be a bus. —块饼干可以是公共汽车。 A biscuit can be a bike. 可以是自行车。 A biscuit can be a boat. 可以是船。 A biscuit can be a banana. 可以是香蕉。 A biscuit can be a bear.可以是小熊。 A biscuit can be a butterfly.可以是蝴蝶。 But，if birds are nearby,但是，如果鸟儿靠近 The biscuits can only be birds.饼干只能是小鸟啦。 C： Cool Cat酷猫卡里 Cary is a cool cat.卡里是只酷酷的小猫。 Cary can cut carrots like this.卡里能像这样切胡萝卜。 Cary can climb a coconut tree like this. 卡里能像这样爬树。Cary can clean a crocodile like this.卡里能像这样淸洁鳄鱼。Cary can catch flies like this.卡里能像这样抓苍蝇。 Can Cary color like this? 卡里能像这样涂色吗？ Yes!是的 Cary is a cool cat.卡里是只酷酷的小猫。 D: Dancing Dad爸爸爱跳舞 Dad loves dancing!爸爸爱跳舞！ Dad is dancing with the desk.他和桌子一起跳。

攀登英语-有趣的字母(中英文_纯文字_26篇全)教案资料

攀登英语-有趣的字母(中英文_纯文字_26 篇全)

攀登英语——有趣的字母 A: Frank the rat 老鼠弗兰克 Frank the rat is in a bag. 大老鼠弗兰克在袋子里。 Frank is in a hat. 弗兰克在圆顶帽子里。 Frank is in a pan. 弗兰克在平底锅里。 Frank is on an apple. 弗兰克在苹果里。 Frank is on a bat. 弗兰克在球棒上。 “Oh/no!”F r ank is on a cat. “哦?不！”弗兰克落在了猫身上。 B：The Biscuits 饼干 “I’m h ungry!”“我饿了!” A biscuit, —块饼干 A biscuit can be a bus. —块饼干可以是公共汽车。 A biscuit can be a bike. 可以是自行车。 A biscuit can be a boat. 可以是船。 A biscuit can be a banana. 可以是香蕉。 A biscuit can be a bear.可以是小熊。 A biscuit can be a butterfly.可以是蝴蝶。 But，if birds are nearby,但是，如果鸟儿靠近 The biscuits can only be birds.饼干只能是小鸟啦。 C： Cool Cat酷猫卡里 Cary is a cool cat.卡里是只酷酷的小猫。 Cary can cut carrots like this.卡里能像这样切胡萝卜。 Cary can climb a coconut tree like this. 卡里能像这样爬树。Cary can clean a crocodile like this.卡里能像这样淸洁鳄鱼。Cary can catch flies like this.卡里能像这样抓苍蝇。 Can Cary color like this? 卡里能像这样涂色吗？ Yes!是的 Cary is a cool cat.卡里是只酷酷的小猫。 D: Dancing Dad爸爸爱跳舞 Dad loves dancing!爸爸爱跳舞！ Dad is dancing with the desk.他和桌子一起跳。 Dad is dancing with the duck.他和鸭子一起跳

英语阅读系列·有趣的字母

英语阅读系列·有趣的字母 攀登英语阅读系列?有趣的字母 攀登英语阅读系列·有趣的字母 北京师范大学“认知神经科学与学习”国家重点实验室攀登英语项目组编著 Lesson1 Frank the Rat 大老鼠弗兰克 Frank the rat is in a bag. 大老鼠弗兰克在袋子里呢。

Frank is in a hat. 他在圆顶帽子里呢。Frank is in a pan. 他在平底锅里呢。Frank is on an apple. 他在苹果上呢。Frank is on a bat. 他在球棒上呢。“Oh, no!” Frank is on a cat. “噢，糟了！”弗兰克落在了猫身上！ Lesson 2 The Biscuits 我们来做饼干 “I'm hungry!”“我饿了！” A biscuit…一块饼干可以是...... A biscuit can be a bus. 一块饼干可以是公共汽车。 A biscuit can be a bike. 和一块饼干可以是自行车。 A biscuit can be a boat. 一块饼干可以是小船。 A biscuit can be a banana. 一块饼干可以是香蕉。． 攀登英语阅读系列?有趣的字母 A biscuit can be a bear. 一块饼干可以是小熊。 A biscuit can be a butterfly. 一

块饼干可以是蝴蝶。 But…If birds are nearby…但是…..如果小鸟恰好在旁边的话…… The biscuits can only be birds.饼干就只是小鸟啦。 Lesson 3 Cool Cat 酷猫卡里 Cary is a cool cat. 卡里是只酷酷的小猫。 Cary can cut carrots like this. 卡里能像这样切胡萝卜。 Cary can climb a coconut tree like this. 卡里能像这样爬树。 Cary can clean a crocodile like this. 卡里能像这样清理鳄鱼。 Cary can catch flies like this. 卡里能像这样抓苍蝇。 Can Cary color like this? 卡里能像这样涂色吗？ Yes! Cary is a cool cat. 是的！卡里是只酷酷的小猫。 爸爸爱跳舞Dancing Dad Lesson 4 攀登英语阅读系列?有趣的字母

攀登英语-有趣的字母(中英文_纯文字_26篇全)

攀登英语——有趣的字母 A:Franktherat老鼠弗兰克 Franktheratisinabag.大老鼠弗兰克在袋子里。Frankisinahat.弗兰克在圆顶帽子里。 Frankisinapan.弗兰克在平底锅里。 Frankisonanapple.弗兰克在苹果里。 Frankisonabat.弗兰克在球棒上。 “Oh/no!”F rankisonacat.“哦?不！”弗兰克落在了猫身上。 B：TheBiscuits饼干 “I’mhungry!”“我饿了!” Abiscuit,—块饼干 Abiscuitcanbeabus.—块饼干可以是公共汽车。Abiscuitcanbeabike.可以是自行车。 Abiscuitcanbeaboat.可以是船。 Abiscuitcanbeabanana.可以是香蕉。 Abiscuitcanbeabear.可以是小熊。Abiscuitcanbeabutterfly.可以是蝴蝶。 But，ifbirdsarenearby,但是，如果鸟儿靠近Thebiscuitscanonlybebirds.饼干只能是小鸟啦。 C：CoolCat酷猫卡里 Caryisacoolcat.卡里是只酷酷的小猫。Carycancutcarrotslikethis.卡里能像这样切胡萝卜。Carycanclimbacoconuttreelikethis.卡里能像这样爬树。Carycancleanacrocodilelikethis.卡里能像这样淸洁鳄鱼。Carycancatchflieslikethis.卡里能像这样抓苍蝇。CanCarycolorlikethis?卡里能像这样涂色吗？ Yes!是的 Caryisacoolcat.卡里是只酷酷的小猫。 D:DancingDad爸爸爱跳舞 Dadlovesdancing!爸爸爱跳舞！Dadisdancingwiththedesk.他和桌子一起跳。