on success

“Once upon a time， there was a king who had a daughter as beautiful as a blooming rose. To all the suitors who came to the king's palace to ask for the hand of the princess, the old king assigned three tasks to be accomplished, each next to impossible. One day, into the king's palace came a handsome young prince..." Well, you know the rest. The three tasks may be different in different versions, but the main plot is always the same, with the prince claiming the princess's hand triumphantly.

And the ending is always the same, finishing with the line "And they live happily every after."

Why aren't we tired of something so fanciful, so unrealistic, and, I would say, so unimaginative? How can a story like that endure generations of repetition`? Because, I think, it is a typical success story. It is highly philosophical and symbolic. By implication, we see a 4-step definition of success: 1 ) a goal to be set. as represented by the beautiful princess; 2 ) challenges to be met, as represented by the three tasks; 3 ) the process of surmounting difficulties, as represented by the ordeals the youth goes through; and 4 ) the reward of success, as represented by the happy marriage.

The story not only caters to everyone's inward yearning for success, but also emphasizes the inseparability of the process and the result. The reward of success will be much amplified if the path leading towards it is treacherous, and vice versa. If a person inherits his father's millions and leads an easy life, he is not a successful person even in material terms, because there are no difficulties involved in his achieving affluence. The term "success", to be sure. will not sit still for easy definition. But as I understand it, the true meaning of success entails a combination of both the process and the satisfactory result of an endeavor. To clarify my view, let me give another analogy.

If we changed the rules of football, greatly enlarged the goal and sent away David Seaman or any other goal keeper, so that another David, namely David Beckham, could score easily, then scoring would not give him the thrill of accomplishment and the joy that it brings. If we further changed the rules by not allowing Arsenal's defenders to defend, so that Beckham needed only to lift a finger, actually a toe, to score, then there would be no game at all, because the meaning of winning would have disappeared. In accepting the challenge, in surmounting the difficulties and in enduring the hardship, success acquires its value. The sense of attainment varies in proportion to the degree of difficulties on overcomes.

The concept of success is not constant but relative because the nature of difficulty is also relative. Something you do effortlessly might pose a great difficulty for a handicapped person. In acquiring the ability to do the same as you can, he or she achieve success. That's why we greatly admire Stephen Hawking, because, though confined to a

wheel chair, he has contributed greatly to the field of science.

I myself, a rather shy person by nature who easily suffer from stage fright, had to pluck up great courage to take part in a speech contest like this. I could have stayed away and had an easy time of it by not entering the university level contest.But I chose to accept the challenge and to face the difficulties. Now here I am. If I come out first, it will be a great success for me. If I come out last-I hope this will not be the case-but if I come out last, I will not call my attempt a failure, but will also celebrate it as a true success, because part of my goal is my own character training-to do more assertive, to be brave in face of difficulties. For me, it is a meaningful step forward, small as it is, in the long journey toward the final success in my life, because I have truly gained by participating.

Let us return to our handsome young prince and the 4-step definition of success. You my have noticed that the usual worldly criteria of wealth, position and fame were not mentioned as part of the story, but rather, it emphasized the process of overcoming difficulties. The ancient wisdom had already defined the meaning of success, and this is my definition, too.












Share Your Views on Success
Below are views on issues related to the success of people with disabilities. Send your views on one or more of the following issues to doit@https://www.wendangku.net/doc/7f17303369.html,.

Define what "success" means to you.

?Success is possessing the capability for self-determination. Self-determination is the ability to decide what I want to do with my life and then to act on that decision. (high school student who is blind)
?A successful life is one where I can be actively engaged in creative activities that make a contribution to the lives of others. Success is a kind of by-product and NOT an end in itself! (professor who is blind)
?Success is defined by who we are, what we believe in, and what we think it means to be "successful". For some it is money, for others, relationships; for others, it's family; for others, it's jobs; for some it is religion; and for others it is education. I believe that success is reaching my own personal dreams. I'm not done with my dreams, but know that I have been successful so far because I’ve worked toward my goals regardless of my disability. (college student who is deaf)
?To me, having a successful life is being able to do things independently for myself and not always have someone there to do things for me. It's achieving my goals on my own terms and at my own pace. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
?Success is a relative term. If you achieve what you want to and are happy, then I think that is success. It could be applied to life in general or to individual tasks in life. (college student with a mobility impairment)
?My definition of success is achieving personal goals, whatever they may be. Some goals are cons

idered small by some people and enormous by others. What matters is that they are personal; each individual has his/her own formula for personal success. (college student who is deaf)
?I remember what my high school voice teacher told the class as we prepared for our senior solo. She said, "Success comes in CANS, and failure comes in CAN’TS." (speech language pathologist who is blind)
?Succeeding is accomplishing my dreams. However slowly I am moving toward that, to some degree I am succeeding. (high school student who is blind)
?Even though you might not have obtained that set goal, you are successful if you tried your best. (college student with a brain injury)
?To me, success is being able to do whatever it takes to lead a productive life. (young person who is blind)
?Success? That's an easy one. BE HAPPY. (high school student with a learning disability)
?For me, a successful life is living comfortably and satisfied. I don't need to be rich, just have enough money to get what I need and a few things that I want. I would like to have a good job that I enjoy doing and live in a decent-sized apartment with my husband and kids. As long as I have my family and we can live well, I'll be satisfied. This will be when I feel I can say I have achieved success.
?Success is pursuing what you want. Even when you fail or when setbacks occur, to choose to continue pursuing something is a success of its own. If you then happen to accomplish what you set out to do, that's another success. But, always, you must keep trying, keep your goals in mind, and give your best. Then, even if things don't turn out the way you hope, you have succeeded.
?The wonderful thing in this world is not where we are, but rather in what direction we are moving. My master's degree is a nice symbol of many challenges overcome and achievements attained. However, the times I've touched another person's life are even more important to me and confirm that I'm successful.
?I live my life by the SABAH (Skating Association for the Blind & Handicapped) motto: "I CAN do it, I CAN skate." Learning how to ice-skate changed my life forever. I am happier and healthier in every aspect of my life.
?To me success is knowing and understanding yourself, acceptance, and love.
What advice would you give teens with disabilities about defining and achieving success?

?First of all, don't use the disability as a crutch. Don't walk through life and expect people to take care of you because of the disability. Don't make excuses for yourself because of the disability. I've done it before, and it's a one-man pity party. Go out; drive for what you want; don't let the disability get in the way. But if it does, then just jump the hurdle; find a way to get around it.
?I would also say, don't go into a shell. A lot of disabled people will kind of stand back and let life flow by them. They don't interact with people. A lot of them have fairly poor social skills because of it, and that's really sad

to see. If these people could go out and interact with other people, that might make their life better.
?My biggest piece of advice is definitely to drive for what you want. And if it's strong enough in your mind and if you want it bad enough, then get it.
?If something happens and you fail, the only thing that you can do is say, "OK, fine, that's not going to work, try it a different way, or go at it again." There are always times that you're going to break down and say "Hey, I can't go on like this." But you go to sleep that night, you wake up the next morning, and you have a different outlook on life... Maybe it's hard, but you do it anyway, and you just keep going at life.
?Get help when you need it. There are a lot of disabled people out there [who] get fanatical about not letting anybody help them. I'm sorry, but I look at that as kind of stupid because people without disabilities need help sometimes, too,... Go in and ask for that help.
What advice would you give to parents and other adults to help them help kids with disabilities define and achieve success?

?If I came home with a grade that was lower than expected, I would hear about it. I was expected to get that grade up. And if it didn't go up, well, there were consequences. I was treated like everybody else. That instilled in me a drive to succeed.
?My parents' main goal was to make me as much like any other kid as possible. I did social things with other kids. When I was in high school, I had a lot of the same problems with my parents that a lot of kids have, like 'I want to go out' 'Well, you can't go out.' Not we don't want you to go out because you have this disability, but because you're supposed to do this work. But at other times, they would say, 'Hey, go out with your friends. Do stuff socially.' They were very open to that. And because I was mainstreamed all through school, I was used to having social interaction with other people.
?For parents, I would definitely say, "Let your kid with a disability be a kid. Don't shelter them, don't keep anything back. Let them live their life." Treat them like you would your nondisabled child. And don't let them look at the disability as a crutch. Don't let them do that. Trust me.
?My mother instilled in me from day one that there was no room for failure. There was no pity in our home. My mother always told me, 'When you're 18, you're out of here.' I never thought once that I'd have a problem finding a place to live or finding work. It never hit me once that I'd have a problem in society. I always knew I would work someday. I knew I had to make a lot of money, because it's expensive to be disabled.
?I think teachers and parents need to help their kids understand what it is they want out of life. I believe that happiness is the key factor to a lot of things. It's one of the key factors that goes into picking a school, a career, a spouse, and a home. I believe that success is accomplishing the goals that make you happy.

?Help young people accept their disabilities as a part of who they are yet not allow themselves to be defined by them.
?Provide young people with support that can lead to greater self-confidence, skills, and self-determination.
?Set reasonable boundaries and expectations.
?Help young people make constructive use of their time.
?Model positive values.
?Understand that you will never be able to shelter kids from everything all of their lives. Let them experience things while they are developing problem-solving skills so that they will be able to decide on their own what they should do and not what they think others want them to do.
?Teach young people how to use the resources necessary to become independent and achieve a high quality of life. Knowing what's available in the community, taking advantage of those resources, and using them effectively and efficiently are keys to success.
Share your views about the importance of maintaining a positive attitude.

?I have a positive attitude about my future because I believe in myself. I lost my vision over one summer when I was entering the eighth grade. I had to adjust to doing everything without seeing. I overcame my fear and excelled socially and academically. I passed a specialized high school exam and was accepted to the Bronx H.S. of Science. However, in the beginning of my sophomore year my parents decided to get a divorce. This threw me for a loop and I was depressed for a while. But then I realized that depression was not going to help me if I wanted to continue toward my goals. So I dealt with my anger and disappointment. Looking back, it still hurts but I have a better outlook on life because of it. Through my inner strength I overcame these hurdles and looked forward to college. People are stronger than we give them credit for. People with a disability are no different.
?I keep thinking it's your attitude [and] personality. If it's in your mind that you're going to go for it, you will go for it. I just think it all has to come back to attitude. When you have [a good] attitude, doors open for you. Being disabled and using your disability for good, you have a lot more opportunities than other people-really good opportunities. If you take them, some really neat things can happen in your life.
?Most of our society is "average." As far as I can tell, "average" is a wide gap, and as far as I'm concerned, I fall somewhere in the middle of it. (adult with a mobility impairment)
?I can attribute most of my positive attitude to the support system in my life-most importantly my parents. They've helped me to see the light and laughter in tough situations and have always been supportive with endeavors that help me to be successful in life. Most importantly, they've raised me to be an independent and outgoing individual, which goes hand in hand with having a positive attitude. They expected me to do on my own everything that was possible for me to do on my own. (college student wh

o is paraplegic)
?I spent a lot of my childhood in a hospital bed, so I would have gone crazy had I wallowed in the disease of self-pity. I've tried to refrain from wallowing in self-pity or self-righteousness. Both paths lead to nowhere. There were times, of course, when I absolutely hated being "disabled" and wished the struggles away. There were many things I wanted to do that I didn't really see myself doing from the "confines" of a wheelchair. For example, I wanted to dance....I mean REALLY dance....floating through the air. You just can't do that from a four-wheeled object, and, besides, I have quite a large ego and I'm pretty much a perfectionist, and I couldn't do it the way it was "supposed" to be done. But I DID dance, in my dreams....and so I learned to play the music that others danced to....and that was OK. (adult with a mobility impairment)
?For me, being with the same peers all through my schooling gave me confidence because my peers learned to look past my disability. I was also active in Boy Scouts, earned my Eagle rank, and am still active as an assistant Scoutmaster. This gave me purpose and fun with a group. (high school student with a mobility impairment)
?Sometimes I fall into the bad habit of negativity. I am, however, successful at swimming upstream, where I find myself able to catch my breath, gain some of my strength back, and carry on with this thing called "life." I still look forward to tomorrow, because I know there is something that I've yet to complete, some place that I've yet to discover, and some person that I haven't met who needs to see me smile or feel my touch or hear a bit of cheer. (adult with a mobility impairment)
?I have a positive attitude, and I am optimistic about my future. This attitude was developed through a great deal of encouragement by adults and through my own experiences growing up. Also, the many new advances in technology that have given me opportunities in life contribute to this optimism. Doors are now open to me as far as jobs are concerned. (college student who is blind)
?I think I have a positive attitude because all my life I've been around positive people. My parents know that there is no limit to what I can do, despite my disability. When my brother was born, I couldn't walk or even crawl, and I was three at the time. Now, I'm able to walk, with help from a walker or a cane. I feel optimistic about my future because I know I can do anything that I set my mind to. (high school student with hearing, speech, and mobility impairments)
?Whenever I find myself not being positive, I try to put into perspective how fortunate I truly am, and usually what I'm upset about ends up looking pretty trivial. (college student who is paraplegic)
?Whenever my positive attitude gets deflated, I always think that things could be a lot worse than they are, and that makes me thankful for what I do have and have to offer to others. Another key factor that helps to develop and maintain a posi

tive attitude is finding something physically that I enjoy doing and am good at. For me, I love exercising and being in shape. So in my spare time I work out, run, and go rock climbing. (student who had a stroke)