新视角研究生英语读说写(1)课文翻译以及课后习题答案

一、A Working Community

5、None of us, mind you, was born into these communities. Nor did we move into them, U-Hauling our possessions along with us. None has papers to prove we are card-carrying members of one such group or another. Yet it seems that more and more of us are identified by work these days, rather than by street.值得一提的是，我们没有谁一出生就属于这些社区，也不是后来我们搬了进来。这些身份是我们随身携带的，没有人可以拿出文件证明我们是这个或那个群体的会员卡持有者。然而，不知不觉中人们的身份更倾向于各自所从事的工作，而不是像以往一样由家庭住址来界定。

6、In the past, most Americans live in neighborhoods. We were members of precincts or parishes or school districts. My dictionary still defines communtiy, first of all in geographic terms, as ―a body of people who live in one place.‖过去大多数彼邻而居的美国人彼此是同一个街区、教区、校区的成员。今天的词典依然首先从地理的角度来定义社区，称之为―一个由居住在同一地方的人组成的群体‖。

7、But today fewer of us do our living in that one place; more of us just use it for sleeping. Now we call our towns ―bedroom suburbs,‖ and many of us, without small children as icebreakers, would have trouble naming all the people on our street.然而，如今的情况是居住和工作都在同一个地方的人极少，对更多的人来说家成了一个仅仅用来睡觉的地方。我们的居住地被叫做―近郊居住区‖，由于没有了孩子像过去那样起到沟通邻里关系的作用，许多人感到要叫出跟我们同住一条街的所有人的名字是件极不容易的事。

8、It‘s not that we are more isolated today. It‘s that many of us have transferred a chunk of our friendships, a major portion of our everyday social lives, from home to office. As more of our neighbors work away from home, the workplace becomes

our neighborhood.这不是说我们今天被分得更开了，而是好多人已经部分的友谊和大部分的日常社交生活从家里转移到了办文室。随着越来越多的人走出家门去工作，工作的地方就变成了我们的街区。

9、The kaffeeklatsch of the fifties is the coffee break of the eighties.The water cooler, the hall, the elevator, and the parking lot are the back fences of these neighborhoods. The people we have lunch with day after day are those who know the running saga of our mother‘s operations, our child‘s math grades, our frozen pipes, and faulty transmissions.50年代的下午茶成了80年代的喝咖啡的工间休息。工作地的饮水冷却机、大厅、电梯、停车场是新社区的后院篱笆墙。天天和我们共进午餐的人是给我们的母亲动手术的医生、孩子的数学老师、管道工、汽车修理工等。

10、We may be strangers at the supermarket that replaced the corner grocer, but we are known at the coffee shop in the lobby. We share with each other a cast of characters from the boss in the corner office to the crazy lady in Shipping, to the lovers in Marketing. It‘s not surprising that when researchers ask Americans what they like best about work,they say it is ―the shmoose factor.‖ When they ask young mothers at home what they miss most about work, it is the people.人们曾经在杂货店的超市里可能是陌生人，但是却极可能在公司大厅的咖啡间里相识。我们谈论一些人物，从街头办文室的老板，到运输部中的疯女人，到营销部的情人们。难怪当研究者问及美国人关于工作他们最喜欢什么的时候，他们的回答是―和同事悠闲自在地闲扯‖，当询问在家里做全职母亲的年轻妇女对工作最怀念什么时，她们说是工作中所接触过的人。

11、Not all the neighborhoods are empty, nor is every workplace a friendly playground. Most of us have had mixed experiences in these environments. Yet as one woman told me recently, she knows more about the people she passes on the

way to her desk than on her way around the block. Our new sense of community hasn‘t just moved from house to office building. The labels that we wear connect us with members from distant companies, cities, and states. We assume that we have something ―in common‖ with other teachers, nur ses, city planners.不是所有的住宅区都是空的，也不是所有的工作单位都是友好的。多数人在这些环境里都曾有过复杂的经历。然而，最近一位女性朋友告诉我她对工作单位里的人的了解程度要胜于对同一街区人的了解程度。我们不仅把社区的概念从住宅区搬进了办公楼，上班时身上所佩戴的标志也把我们和异国他乡的人们和公司员工联系在一起。我们假设自己和其他的教师、护士、城市规划者有着某些共同点。12、It‘s not unlike the experience of our immigrant grandparen ts. Many who came to this country still identified themselves as members of the Italian community, the Irish communtiy, the Polish community. They sought out and assumes connection with people from the old country, Many of us have updated that experience. We have replaced ethnic identity with professional identity, the way we replaced neighborhood with the workplace. This whole realignment of community is surely most obvious among the mobile professions. People who move from city to city seem to put roots into their professions. In an age of specialists, they may have to search harder to find people who speak the same language.这有点像最初移民来到美国的我们的祖辈们的经历，许多人来到这里后把自己原来的国籍当成一个社区，所以有意大利人社区、爱尔兰人社区、波兰社区等。他们不断寻找并设想自己与来自同一个国家的人们有着亲密的联系。我们把这种体验提升了一步。像用工作单位取代居住地一样，我们用专业身份取代了种族身份。这种社区的完全重组在流动作业的行业中表现得最为明显，那些在不同城市变换工作的人似乎把自己的身份植根于他们的行业中。在这个充满专业人士的时代，他们不得不费尽周折去寻找有共同语言的人。

13、I don‘t think that there is anything massively disruptive about this shifting sense of community. The continuing search for connection and shared enterprise is very human. But I do feel uncomfortable with our shifting identity. The balance has tipped, and we seem increasingly dependent on work for our sense of self.我并不认为这种社区概念的变迁会造成大面积的混乱，这种对联系和共同理想的不断追寻充满了人性。但我对我们不断变化的身份确实感到不安。身份意识的天平似乎已经日渐倾斜到工作决定身份这边。

14、If our office are our new neighborhoods, if our professional titles are our new ethnic tags, then how do we separate ourselves from our jobs? Selfworth isn‘t just something to measure in the marketplace. But in these new communities, it becomes harder to tell who we are without saying what we do.如果办公室真的彻底变成我们的社区，如果我们的所从事的行业真的彻底变成我们的种族印记，那我们怎样才能把自己和工作区分开来呢？自我价值并不是只有在市场环境中得到体现的。但是在这些新的社区中，如果不先说明我们是从事哪行哪业的，就越来越难以说清楚我们究竟是谁。

二、The Roots Of My Ambition

1、―If there‘s one thing I can‘t stand, Russell, it‘s a quitter.‖罗素，假如有一件事我不能容忍的话，那就是做轻易放弃的人。

2、My mother,dead now to this world but still roaring free in my mind, wakes me some mornings before day-break. ―If there‘s one thing I can‘t stand, Russell, it‘s a quitter.‖虽然她已离天人世，我母亲却依旧在我的脑子里大声嚷嚷，有时天还未破晓她就催我起床，罗素，假如有一件事情我不能容忍的话，那就是轻易放弃的人。

3、I have heard her say that all my life. Now, Lying in bed, coming awake in the dark, I feel the fury of her energy fighting the good-for-nothing idler within me who

wants to go back to sleep instead of tackling the brave new day.我一辈子都在听她讲这句话。而今躺在床上，在黑暗中睁开睡眼，我就能感觉到她和那个一无是处，游手好闲的人对歭的那股凶劲儿，那个人就在我心中，他宁可缩回被窝继续睡觉，她不愿意抓住新的美好的一天。

4、Silenty, I protest: I am not a child anymore. I have made something of myself. I am entitled to sleep late.我在心里默默地抗议：我不再是个孩子，我已经做出了自己的成绩，有权晚点起床。

5、―Russell, you‘ve got no more gumption than a bump on a log.‖罗素，你完全没有进取心了，只想当个无所事事的懒汉。

6、She has hounded me with these battle cries since I was a boy in short pants.自从我还是穿着短裤整天乱跑的小男孩起她就用这种战场上的喊叫来鞭策我。

7、―Make something of yourself!‖ 你一定得弄出个名堂来！

8、―Don‘t be a quitter!‖ 绝不要轻易放弃的人！

9、―Have a little ambiton, Buddy.‖ 伙伴，得有点儿抱负吧

10、The civilized man of the world within me scoffs at materialism and strives after success. He has read the philosophers and social critics. He thinks it is vulgar and unworthy to spend one‘s life pursuing money, power, fame, and…… 在我心目中这个世界上真的文明人嘲笑物质主义者和追名逐利的人。这种人饱读哲学大师和社会批评家的著作，他认为花费整个生命去追求金钱、权力、名誉是粗俗而不值的……

11、―Sometimes you act like you‘re not worth the powder and shot it would take to blow you up with.‖母亲还对我说：―有时你的行业显得自己还不如能置你于死地的那点火药或一粒子弹值钱。

12、Life had been hard for my mother ever since her father died, leaving nothing but debts, The family house was lost, the children scattered. My mother‘s mother,

fatally ill with tubercular infection, fell into a suicide depression and was institutionalized. My mother, who had just started college, had to quit and look for work.。自从外公死后母亲一直过着艰辛的生活，除了一大堆债务外公啥也没有留下。家里的房子成了别人的。孩子们四散各处。我那染上夺命结核病的外婆患了自杀抑郁症被送入医院。刚上大学的母亲不得不辍学去找工作。

13、Then ,after five years of marriage and three babies, her husband died in 1930, leaving my mother so poor that she had to give up her baby Audrey for adoption. Maybe the bravest thing she did was to give up Audrey, only ten months old, to my Uncle Tom and Aunt Goldie. Uncle Tom, one of my father‘s brothers, had a good job with the railroad and could give Audrey a comfortable life.后来母亲在结婚后5年内生下连我在内3个孩子。但是，1930年我爸爸离开了人世，母亲一贫如洗，不得不将最小的孩子奥德丽送给别人收养。也许母亲做过的最勇敢的事就是让我叔叔汤姆和婶婶葛黛收养了10个月大的奥德丽。叔叔汤姆是爸爸的亲兄弟，他在铁路上有一份好工作，能够给奥德丽舒适的生活。

14、My mother headed off to New Jersey with my other sister and me to take shelter with with her brother Alen, poor relatives dependent on his goodness. She eventually found work pathching grocers‘smocks at ten dollars a week in a laundry.母亲带着我和另一个妹妹直奔新泽西州暂时寄居在她哥哥阿伦家里，成了投奔我那好舅舅的穷亲戚。母亲后来总算在一家洗衣店找到了一份周薪10美元，修补杂货商穿用的工作服的工作。

15、Mother would have liked it better if I could have grown up to be President or a rich businessman, but much as she loved me, she did not deceive herself. Before I was out of grade school, she could see I lacked the gifts for either making millions or winning the love of crowds. After that she began nudging me toward working with words.假如我现在是总统或者是富有的商人，妈妈应该会更满意的。虽然

母亲很爱我，但她并没有欺骗自己。在我高中毕业之时，她就意识到了我缺少那种日进斗金或博取群众爱戴的能力。从那以后她就开始把我往写作的道路上推。

16、Words ran in her family. There seemed to be a word gene that passed down from her maternal grandfather. He was a school teacher, his daughter Lulie wrote poetry, and his son Charlie became New York correspondent for the Bltimore Herald. In the turn-of-the –century South, still impoverished by the Civil War, words were a way out.母亲的家族有从事写作的传统。从她的外公开始似乎就有一种语言基因代代相传。她的外公是一位教师，他的女儿露利是诗人，儿子查理后来成了《巴尔的摩先驱报》的通讯员。在世纪之交，南方还没有从因为内战而大伤气的状态下恢复过来，写作在当时是一条谋生之路。

17、The most spectacular proof was my mother‘s first cousin Edwin. He was a managing editor of the New York Times.He had traveled all over Europe, proving that words could take you to places so glorious and so far from the Virginia sticks that you own kon could only gape in wonder and envy. My mother often used Edwin as an example of how far a man could go without much talent.最充分的证据要数我母亲的一位表兄艾德文。他是《纽约时代周刊》的执行主编。他曾经遍游欧洲，这证明文字可以将你带到那些远离弗吉尼亚边远山区无比美好的地方，令你的亲戚惊讶而又嫉妒。母亲常以艾德文为例，告诉我一个不是很有才气的男人能走多远。

18、―Edwin James was no smarter than anybody else, and look where he is today,‖my mother said, and said again, so than I finally grew up thinking Edwin James was adil l clod who had a lucky break. Maybe she felt didn‘t have to be brilliant to get where Edwin had got to, that the way to get to the top was to work, work, and work.艾德文并不比任何一个孩子聪明，看看他今天已经在哪了？母

亲总是这样遍又一遍地对我说，以至于我长大以后认为艾德文·詹姆士不过是碰上了好运气的平庸之辈。也许母亲也是那样看待他的，但她的话中应该有更深的含意。她是在告诉我不需要很聪明就能达到艾德文的高度，通往顶峰的路是努力、努力、再努力。

19、When my mother saw that I might have the word gift, she started trying to make it grow. Thought desperately poor, she signed up for a deal that supplied one volume of Worlds Greatest Literature every month at 39 cents a book.当母亲看到我或多或少有些语言天赋的时候，她就开始努力要让这种天赋成长发挥出来，虽然家里穷得叮当响，她还是狠下心来给我订购了售价为39美分的月刊《世界最伟大的文学》

20、I respected those great writers,but what I read with joy were newpapers. I lapped up every word about monstrous crimes, dreadful accidents and hideous butcheries committed in faraway wars. Accounts of murderes dying in the electric chair fascinated me, and I kept close track of fast meals ordered by condemned men.我很仰慕那些伟大的作家，但读起来使我最快乐的是报纸。我如饥似渴地读着报纸上关于犯罪、恐怖事件和发生在遥远他乡的骇人听闻的杀戮。关于那些死在电梯上的杀手的报道令我入迷，我甚至对死刑犯订的最后一顿快餐都特别留心。

21、In 1947 I graduated from John Hopkins and learned that the Baltimore Sun needed a police reporter. Two or there classmates at Hopkins also applied for the job. Why I was picked was a mystery. It paid $30 a week. When I complained that was insulting for a college man, my mother refused to sympathize.1947年，我从约翰·霍普金斯大学毕业时到了解到《巴尔的摩太阳报》需要招募一名治安记者。另外有两三个霍普金斯的同班同学也在争取这个职位，为什么最后我被录用了是谜。这份工作的薪水是30美金一星期。当我在母亲面前抱怨这样的待遇对

一个大学毕业生来说是一种耻辱的时候，她拒绝给我同情。

22、―If you work hard at this job,‖she said, ―maybe you ca n make something of it. Then they‘ll have to give you a raise.‖假如你在这个职位上好好干，她说，也许你是会有所作为的，到那时他们就不得不给你涨工资了

23、Seven years later I was assigned by the Sun to cover the White House. For most reporters, being White House correspondent was as close to heaven as you could get. I was 29 years old and puffed up with pride. I went to see my mother‘s delight while telling her about it. I should have known better.7年之后，我被《巴尔的摩太阳报》任命为驻白宫记者。对于大多数记者而言，成为驻白宫记者被看成是离上天只有一步之遥。那时我29岁，踌躇满志。我回有对母亲讲自己晋升的事想看到她高兴。但结果却出乎我的预料。

24、―Well, Russ,‖she said, ―if you work hard at this White House job, you might be able to make something of yourself.‖嗯，罗素啊，母亲说，假如你把白宫记者当好了，你会有所作为的。

25、Onward and upward was the course she set. Small progress was no excuse for feeling satisfied with yourself. People who stopped to pat themselves on the back didn‘t last long. Even if you got to the top, you ?d better not take it easy. ―The bigger they come, the harder they fall‖ was one of her favorite maxims.进取、进取、再进取，这是母亲给我设定的方向。小小的进步是不足以自我满足的。那些因成功而沾沾自喜停下来欣赏自己的人是不会持久的。即使你已经到达顶峰，你也最好不要放松。爬得越高，摔得越痛，是母亲的至理名言。

26、During my early years in the newspaper business, I began to entertain childish fantasies of revenge against Cousin Edwin. Wouldn‘t it be delightful it Ibecame such an outstanding reporter that the Times hired me without knowing I was related to the great Edwin? Wouldn‘t it be delicious if Edwin himself invited me into his

huge office and said, ―Tell me something about yourself, youngman?‖ What exquisist vengeance to reply, ―I am the only son of your poor cou sin Lucy Elizabeth Robinson.‖在我从事报业的头几年，我就不怀着幼稚的要报复地表兄艾德文的怪念头。假如我能成为非常杰出的记者，让《纽约时代周刊》在不知道我和艾德文关系的情况下雇用我，这难道不是件快乐无比的事情吗？如果艾德文将我请到他那宽敞的办公室，对我说：年轻人，能请你介绍一下自己吗？我是你的穷表妹露西·伊丽莎白·罗宾逊唯一的儿子。这回答是多么绝妙的复仇啊。27、What would one day happen was right out of my wildest childhood fantasy. The TIMES did come knocking at my door, though Cousin Edwin had departed by the time I arrived. Eventually I would be offered one of the gaudiest prizes in American journalism: a column in the New York Times.后来我的这种不着边际的少年狂想果真变成了现实。《纽约时代周刊》真的派人敲开了我的家门，尽管在我到达时，艾德文表兄已经有事离开了，美国新闻界还是给予了我一个炫丽的奖励—做《纽约时代周刊》的专栏作家。

28、It was not a column meant to convey news, but a writer‘s column commenting on the news by using different literary forms: essay devices, satire, burlesque, sometimes even fiction. It was proof that my mother had been absolutely right when she sized me up early in life and steered me toward literature.那不是新闻报导专栏，而是一个用不同文学体裁评论新闻的专栏，如散文、讽刺、夸张的模仿、有时甚至是小说。这一切证明母亲早就看出是这块料并引导我走文学之路是完全正确的。

29、The column won its share of medals. Including a Pulitezer Prize in 1979. My mother never knew about that. The circuitry of her brain had collapsed the year before, and she was in a nursing home, out of touch with life forevermore.我负责的专栏后来赢得了它该得到的所有奖项，包括1979年的普利策奖，但母亲却

不得而知。她在前一年患了脑瘫住进疗养院，她从此与生活没有了接触。30、I can onl y guess how she‘d have responded to news of Pulitzer. I‘m pretty sure she would have said, ―That‘s nice, Buddy. It shows if you buckle down and work hard, you‘ll be able to make something of yourself one of these days.‖我只能去想象她得知我获得普利策奖的消息时的反应。她肯定又会说：好样的，伙计，这证明了只要你下定决心，埋头苦干，某一天你一定能有所成就。

31、In time there would be an attack on the values my mother preached and I have lived by. When the country began to pull apart in the 1960s and 70s, people who admitted to wanting to amount something were put down as materialists idiotically wasting their lives in the ―rat race.‖ The word ―gumption‖vanished from the language.母亲一直宣扬而且我一直遵循的价值观终于开始遭到攻击。二十世纪六七十年代，这个国家的价值观念开始分化。那些承认自己想要获得成功的人被鄙视为在―激烈竞争‖的凡尘中愚蠢地浪费生命的物质主义者。―进取精神‖这个词开始从我们的语言中消失。

32、I tried at first to roll with the new age. I decided not to drive my children, as my mother had driven me, with those corrupt old demands that they amount to something.我也努力按新时代的标准行事，决心不再像母亲逼迫我那样逼迫自己的孩子们，不再用那些陈腐的苛求非要他们大有作为。

33、The new age exalted love, self-gratification and passive Asian philosopies that aimed at helping people resign themselves to the status quo. Much of this seemed preposterous to me, but I conceded that my mother might have turned me into a coarse materialist (one defect in her code was its emphasis on money and position ),so I kept my heretical suspicions to myself.新时代崇尚关系和自我满足，崇尚消极的东方哲学要人安于现状的思想。这些思想对我来说显得荒谬，但是我也得承认也许母亲已经将我变成一个粗俗的物质主义者（她的信条中的

一个缺陷就是对金钱和地位的强调），我在新时代一直对自己怀着异教徒般的怀疑。

34、And then, realizing I had failed to fire my own children with ambition, I broke. One evenin g at dinner, I heard myself shouting, ―Don‘t you want to amount to something?‖当意识到自己未能使孩子们充满抱负的时候，我心碎了。一天晚上在用餐的时候，我听到自己大声吼道：―你们难道就不想有任何作为吗？35、The children looked blank. Amount to something. What a strange expression. I could see their thought: That isn‘t Dad yelling. That was those martins he had before dinner.孩子们满脸疑惑：有所作为？这对他们来说是多么奇怪的字眼啊。我能够清楚地分辨他们想法：这不是爸爸的吼叫，是他饭前喝下的马提尼酒在作怪。

36、It wasn‘t the gin that was shouting. It was my mother. The gin only gave me the courage to announce to them that yes, by God, I had always believed in success, had always believed that without hard work and self-discipline you could never amount to anything, and didn‘t deserve to.其实不是杜松子酒在吼，是我的母亲在吼。酒只是借给了我勇气向他们宣布那个想法。是的，上帝可以作证，我一直相信成功，一直相信如果没有辛勤的劳动和严格的自律，一个人不可能有任何成就，也不配有成就。

37、It w ould turn out that the children‘s bleak report cards did not forebode failure, but a refusal to march to the drumbeat of the ordinary, which should have made me proud. Now they are grown people with children of their own, and we like one another and have good times when we are together.事实最后证明，那些曾使我感到黯淡无望的成绩单并没有预示我的孩子们一败涂地，而预示了他们拒绝平庸，这令我应该感到欣慰。而今他们都已长大成人，也有了自己的孩子。我们彼此都怀着好感，家庭团聚时过得非常愉快。

38、So it is with a family. We carry the dead generations within us and pass them on to the future abroad our children. This keeps the people of the past alive long after we have taken them to the churchyard.家庭就是如此，我们在自己身上承传去世的老一辈，并将他们传给自己将来四散在各地的后代，让已经去世安息在教堂墓地的人们很久以后仍然活在我们心中。

39、―If there‘s one thing I can‘t stand, Russell, its‘s quitter.‖罗素，假如有一件事我不能容忍的话，那就是做轻易放弃的人。

40、Lord, I can hear her still.我的天啊！我听见我的母亲还在说。

三、Help Yourself through the Hard Times

1、Some years ago I had what most would call the American Dream: a thriving construction business, a comfortable home, two new cars and a sailboat. Moreover, I was happpily married. I had it all.几年前，我拥有大多数人称之为美国梦想的东西：一份蒸蒸日上的建筑生意，一个舒适的家，两辆新车和一艘帆船，此外，我婚姻幸福。我拥有这一切。

2、Then the stock market crashed, and suddenly no one was looking at the houses I‘d built.Months of murderous interest payment gobbled up my savings. I couldn‘t make ends meet and lay awake nights in a cold sweat. Just when I though things couldn‘t get worse, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce.接着，股市垮了，突然间再没人看我修的那些房子。连续几个月支付要命的利息，耗尽了我的积蓄。我入不敷出，经常彻夜无眠，一身冷汗。就在我认为事情不可能变得更糟的时候，我太太宣布她想离婚。

3、With no idea what to do next, I r esolved literally to ―sail off into the sunset,‖ following the coastline from Connecticut to Florida. But somewhere off New Jersey I turned due east, straight out to sea. Hours later, I climbed up on the stern rail and watched the dark Atlantic slip beneath the hull. How easy it would be to let the

water take me, I thought.无所适从的我决心真正驾船―向夕阳行驶‖，沿着海岸线从康涅狄格州驶向佛罗里达州。但是在离新泽西巷的地方，我转向正东方，直接驶往大海。几小时后，我爬上船尾的栏杆，注视着从船体下面滑过的黑沉沉的大西洋海水。我想让海水淹死是多么容易的一件事。

4、Suddenly the boat plummeted between two swells, knocking me off balance. I grabbed the rail, my feet dragging in icy brine, and just managed to haul myself back on board. Shaken, I thought, what‘s happening to me? Idon‘t want to die.From that moment, I knew I had to see things through. My old life was gone. Somehow I‘d have to build a new one.突然，帆船笔直地落在两个巨浪之间，使我失去了平衡。我手抓住栏杆，脚浸在冰冷的海水里，勉强把自己拉回船上。震惊之余，我想，我这是怎么了？我不想死。从那一刻起，我知道我必须看穿万物。我从前的生活一去不复返了，必须得想办法自己重建新的生活。

5、Everyone, at some point, will suffer a loss-the loss of loved ones. Good health, a job. ―It‘s your desert experience‘-a time of feeling barren of options, even hope,‖ explains Patrick Ddl Zoppo, a psychologist and bereavement specialist with the Archdiocese of New York. ―The important thing is not to allow yourself to be stranded in the desert.‖每个人，在某个时刻，都将遭受损失—失去挚爱的人、健康或是工作。―这是你经历中的荒漠---一段感到毫无出路，甚至毫无希望的时期‖，帕垂克·戴尔·左珀解释说。他是一名心理学家，纽约大主教管区的丧亲之痛专家，―重要的是不要让你自己陷入荒漠之中无法自拔‖。

6、Let Yourself Grieve. Counelors agree that a period of grieving is critical. ―There‘s no shame in this,‖ says Del Zoppo. ―Tears aren‘t a sign that you‘re simply feeling sorry for yourself but are expression of sadness or emotion that must find an outlet.‖让自己悲痛。顾问们一致认为，一段时间的悲痛是至关重要的。―不必为此感到羞愧‖，戴尔·左珀说，―眼泪并不意味着你仅仅自我垂怜，而是表达

必须发泄的忧伤或情感‖。

7、And it doesn‘t matter if the grieving takes a while to surface, as lon g as it finally finds expression. Consider the case of Donna Kelb of Syracuse, N.Y. One spring day her 16-year-old son, Cliff, Jr. and 15-year-old son, Jimmy, were sanding their boat, preparing it for the season. Suddenly Donna heard a scream. Rushing outside, she found her two sons lying on the ground near the boat.如果悲痛需要一段时间才能表现出来，也没有什么关系，只要它能最终找到表现的方式。看看纽约锡拉库扎港的唐娜·克博的例子。在一个春光明媚的日子里，她16岁的儿子小克立夫和他15岁的弟弟吉米正在给他们的船装沙，为渔季做准备。突然，唐娜听到一声尖叫。她冲到外面，发现两个儿子倒在船旁边的地面上。

8、Jimmy had gone into the water and returned dripping wet. When he picked up the sander, he was electrocuted. Cliff, knocked to the ground by the current when he tried to grab the tool, recovered.吉米下到水中，上来的时候浑身湿透了。当他拿起磨沙器时，触电致死。克立夫在试图拿过磨沙器时被电流击倒在地，后来康复了。

9、Donna was so numbed by this tragedy that she didn‘t cry for weeks-not even at the funeral, Then back at work one day, she began to feel dizzy. ―Finally I went home, locked myself in my room and just wailed.‖ she says, ―it was as though this great weight was being lifted from my shoulders.‖这个悲剧的打击让唐娜变得麻木，以致好几周都没哭出来—甚至在葬礼上也没有哭。后来有一天下班归来，她开始感到晕眩。―最终我回到家，将自己锁在房间里，开始嚎啕大哭‖，她说，仿佛这块巨石从肩膀上卸下来。

10、What Kelb, experienced after her tragic loss was what Del Zoppo calls a ―first-line defense that shields the consciousness from some extremely unpleasant reality.‖ Kelb couldn‘t begin her healing process until nature had allowed her time

to sort out her tragedy.克博在悲剧之后的经历就是戴尔·左珀所说的一种―使意识远离极端不愉快的现实的首要防范心理‖。除非本能给予她解决好悲剧的时间，否则克博不可能开始她的康复之路。

11、Understand Your Anger. ―Anger is natural.‖says Del Zoppo, ―but it can be released in a wholesome way.‖ Properly understand, it can serve your recovery.理解你的怒火。愤怒是天性，戴尔·左珀说，但可以通过健康的方式释放出来。你若得到恰当的理解，它将有助于你的恢复。

12、Candace Bracken‘s future seemed full of promise. The 25-year-old airline hemorrhaging uncontrollably. Acute leukemia was diagnosed, and Bracken was of myself, lived a straignt and narrow life,‖ says Bracken was given two weeks to live. After the initial shock, she felt angry. ―I had taken care of myself, lived a straight and narrow life,‖ says Bracken of Miami. ―Things like this weren‘t supposed to happen to people like me.‖以前坎迪斯·布赖青肯的未来似乎是一片光明。作为一名25岁的航班调度员，她刚生了一个宝宝，才换了份工作。然而有一天她开始不由自主地出血。诊断出是急性白血病，只有两个星期可活。震惊之余，她感到愤怒，我一直爱惜自己的身体，生活诚实，正派，迈阿密的布赖肯说―这种事情不应该发生在像我这样的人身上。

13、She reeled at the thought of her imminent death, and withdrew. ―I just gave up,‖ she says. Then a doctor told her she needed to arrange for someone to care for her daughter. ―How dare you tell me to find someone else to raise my child!‖ Bracken snapped. At that moment, she realized that she had strong reasons to fight for he life. Her anger, formerly crippling now sparked her. It helped see her through a harrowing, but ultimately successful, bone-marrow transplant.一想到死亡即将来临，她就感到心绪不宁，屈服了。我完全放弃了，她说。后来一个医生告诉她说她需要安排人照料她的女狼。―你竟敢让我找别人带大我的小孩！‖布赖肯历

声说。在那一刻，她意识到有充分的理由去为自己的生命而战。她的愤怒开始时极为有害，现在却鼓舞了她，帮助她渡过了痛彻心肺但最终成功的骨髓移植。

14、Face the Challeng. Another obstacle on the road to health after a significant loss can be denial. Instead of facing what has happened to them, says Dr. Michael Aronoff, psychiatrist and a spokesperson for the American Psychiatirc Association, many people ―try to fill up that empty feeling looking for an escape.‖ The man who rarely touched a drink will begin hitting the bottle. A woman who watched her weight will overeat. Others, like me , try literally to ―rn away.‖勇敢地面对挑战。在经历重大打击之后，拒绝知我同样也是健康之路的重大障碍。迈克尔?阿若诺夫是个精神病医师，美国精神病协会的一名发言人。他说，很多人不是面对所发生的一切。而是―竭力填补空虚的感情假寻找一种解脱。‖几乎滴酒不沾的男人会开始酗酒，担心肥胖的女性会吃得过多。其他一些人，像我一样，力图―一走子之‖。

15、After working for bosses all his life, John Jankowski of Staten Island, N.Y., had always longed to have his own options and stock-trading firm. He finally got the start-up money and did well. Then came a downturn in business, and before long Jankowski was in serious financial trouble.为老板工作一辈子后，纽约史丹顿岛的约翰?简可夫斯基一直梦想有自己的选择和证券交易公司。他最终找到了启动金并经营顺利。接着生意急转直下，不久简可夫斯基就陷入严重的经济危机。

16、―It was like I‘d run into a brick wall and my whole life had been shattered,‖ he says. With financial resources exhausted and the pressure of a family to support, Jankowski‘s thoughts turned to escape.―就好像我迎头撞上一面砖墙，整个人生都被击得粉碎，‖他说。经济来源耗尽，又有一个家庭需要供养，简可夫斯基开始想逃避。

17、One morning, while in a run,he just kept going. After jogging westward for two

hours, he staggered back home. ―It finally dawned on me that I couldn‘t run away from my troubles. The only thing that made sense was to face up to my si tuation,‖ he says. ―Admitting failure was the toughest part but I had to before I could get on with my life.‖一天早上，在跑步的时候，他一直往前跑。在向西慢跑了两个小时之后，他步履蹒跚地回到家。―我终于明白不能逃离我的困境。唯一明智的事就是勇敢面对我的现状，‖他说，―承认失败是困难的，但要想继续生活我必须得这么做。‖

18、Get Out and Do! After a few weeks, I urge people recovering from loss to get back into a routine,‖says psychiatrist and Boston University professor Bessel A.van der Kolk. ―It‘s important to force yourself to concentrate on things other than your hurt.‖ Cinsider these activities:走出门，做点事。―几周之后，我要求那些从打击中复原的人回到日常生活中去，‖精神病医师，波士顿大学教授贝瑟?A?凡?库克说，―强迫自己把注意力集中到别的事情，而不是所受的伤害上，这一点至关重要。‖考虑以下活动：

19、Join a support group. Once you‘ve made the decision to ―get on with life,‖ you‘ll need someone to talk to –and the most effective kind of conversation can be with someone else who has undergone an ordeal.加入一个援助团体。一旦你决心―继续生活‖，你会需要向人倾诉，最有效的是和其他有过痛苦经历的人交谈。

20、Read. When you can focus after the initial shock, reading, especially selfhelp books, can offer inspiration as well as relaxation.阅读。经历过最初的震惊之后，如果注意力可以集中，那就开始读书，尤其是有关自助的书，这将让你放松，同时也让你感到鼓舞。

21、Keep a journal. Many find comfort in creating an ongoing record of their experiences. At best it can serve as a kind of self-therapy.记日记。很多人发现纪录每天的经历让人感到安慰。日记甚至能起到自我治疗的作用。

22、Plan events. The idea that there are things to look forward to reinforces that you are forging ahead into a fresh future. Schedule that trip you‘ve been postponing.做事有计划。有期待的事情，这一想法能增强你迈向全新未来的信息。将你过去推迟了的旅行重新写进时间表。

23、Learn new skills. Take a course at a community college, or take up a new hobby or sport. You have a new life ahead; any new skill will complement it.学习新的技术。在社区大学选修一门课，或是开始新的爱好或者运动。有全新的生活等着你，而任何新的技术都将使它更充实。

24、Reward yourself. During highly stressful times, even the simplest daily daily chores-getting up, showering, fixing something to eat- can seem daunting. Consider every accomplishment, no matter how small, a victory to be rewarded.奖励自己。在强压力之下，即使是最简单的日常琐事，如起床、洗澡，弄东西吃，都能使人气馁。每完成一件事，不管多么微小，都把它看作是一个值得稿劳自己的成就。

25、Exercise. Physical activity can be especially therapeutic. Therese Gump of Chicago felt confused and adrift after her21-years-old son committed suicide. A friend talked her into taking a jazzercize class. ―It was just mindless stretching and bouncing to music.‖ Gump says, ―but it made me feel better physically, and when you head and your tr oubles,‖ Aronoff explains, ―and it allows you to experience your body with your two feet on the ground.‖锻炼。体育锻炼尤其具有治疗作用。芝加哥的西瑞丝?坎普在她21岁儿子自杀后感到茫然不知所措。一个朋友说服她参加了一个爵士锻炼培训班。―只是随着音乐不动脑筋地伸伸手脚和蹦蹦跳跳，‖坎普说，―但它却使我感到身体更棒，当你感觉身体更棒的时候你心理上也会感觉更好。‖―锻炼使你忘却自我和身边的麻烦，‖阿若诺夫解释说，―并能让你感到踏实。‖

26、Be Patient with Yourself. People often ask. ―When will this terrible pain stop?‖ Experts resist being pinned down to time frames. ―Roughly, it‘s a minimum of six months before you even start to feel better,‖ says Aronoff. ―And it can be as long as a year, possibly two. A lot depends on disposition, the support within your environment, and if you get help and work on it.‖对自己有耐心。人们常说，―什么时候这种可怕的痛苦才会结束？‖专家门反对时间期限的限制。―大体上，你少则需要6个月才能开始感觉好点，‖阿若诺夫说。―也有可能长达一年，或是两年。这很大程度上取决于你的性格、周围亲友的支持、以及是否得到帮助并借此战胜痛苦。

27、So,be easy on yourself. Recongnize that you‘ll need time, and that your own pace of recovery may not fit with that of others. Congratulate yourself at each step through grief: I‘m still here, I‘ve made it this far!因此，对自己宽容些。认识到你将需要一定的时间，而且你自己的康复节奏可能和别人不一样。在走出悲痛中每前进一步都要祝贺自己：―我还活着，我已经撑到现在了。‖

28、Sailing is a slow business. I made it to Florida in five weeks. In attempting to‖run away,‖ I‘d embarked on a trip that gave me a structure, a daily outdoor routine requiring physical exertion, and plenty of time. I was still hurting, but by the time I anchored in Miami, I was ready to try again.At what, I wasn‘t sure.航行是个慢活，我用了5周才抵达佛罗里达。原本试图―一走了之‖的我踏上一段旅途。这段旅途让我重新组织生活，培养了每天的生活规律，要求付出在户外的体力以及大量的时间。我的心依然在痛，但是等我到达迈阿密时，我已作好再次尝试的准备。尝试什么，我还没确定。

29、―Why not get back to writing-to what you were trained for?‖ said my dad over the phone. He was right. And here I am now, writing to you. It feels good to be back.―何不回到写作？回到你以前受过专门培训的写作嘛！‖爸爸在电话那头