You Don’t Need Their Approval

You Don’t Need Their Approval

You may be spending far too many of your present moments in efforts to win the approval of others, or in being concerned with some disapproval that you have encountered. If approval has become a need in your life, then you have some work to do. You can begin by understanding that approval-seeking is a desire rather than a necessity. We all enjoy applause, compliments and praise. It feels good when we are mentally stroked. Who would want to give this up? Well, there’s no need to. Approval in itself is not unhealthy; in fact, adulation is deliciously pleasurable. Approval-seeking is an erroneous zone only when to becomes a need rather than a want.

If you want the approval, you are simply happy to have the endorsement of other people. But, if you need it, you are going to collapse if you don’t get it. That’s when the self-destructive forces move in. Similarly, when approval-seeking becomes a need, you give up a chunk of yourself to the “outside person” whose advocacy you must have. If they disapprove, then you are immobilized (ever in a small way). In such a case, you have chosen to wear your self-worth on your sleeve for someone to rub or not rub as they see fit. You feel good inside only if they decide to administer some praise to you.

你无需得到别人的赞许

你可能在或非或多的时间竭尽全力去赢得别人的赞许，也许可能因为别人的非议而忧心忡忡。如果别人的赞许已经成为你生活中的一种需要，那么，你就不能听之任之了。首先，你应该认识到：寻求赞许与其说是生活的必须，不如说是一种欲望。我们都愿意赢得

掌声、听到赞扬或称赞颂扬。精神上受到抚慰的感觉是很棒的。有谁愿意放弃这种享受呢？是的，确实没有必要放弃。赞许本身对你的精神健康无害；事实上，受到恭维是令人十分惬意的事。寻求赞许的心理只有成为一种需要，而不仅仅是愿望时，才成为一个误区。

如果你希望得到赞许，那仅仅是乐于得到他人的认可。但是，如果你需要赞许，那么你在未能如愿以偿时，便会十分沮丧。这正是自暴自弃的情绪乘虚而入之时。同时，当寻求暂无成为一种需要时，就会将自己的大部分价值奉献给“外人”，因为你没有他人的赞许不行。加入他们不称赞你，你就会情绪消沉（即使是很轻微的消沉）。在这种情况下，你等于把自己的自尊交给别人，听任他们去维护或伤害。只有在他们决定说你句句好话的时候，你心理才高兴。