文档库 最新最全的文档下载
当前位置:文档库 › 双语美文:去经历去体验做最好最真实的自己

双语美文:去经历去体验做最好最真实的自己

双语美文:去经历去体验做最好最真实的自己
双语美文:去经历去体验做最好最真实的自己

双语美文:去经历去体验做最好最真实的自己

Truly happy and successful people get that way by becoming the best, most genuine version of themselves they can be. Not on the outside--on the inside. It's not about a brand, a reputation, a persona. It's about reality. Who you really are.

真正快乐成功的人会长成最好最真实的自己——从内心而非外表上。重要的不是品牌、名誉或者外表形象,而是真实的自我。

Sounds simple, I know. It is a simple concept. The problem is, it's very hard to do, it takes a lot of work, and it can take a lifetime to figure it out.

道理很简单,讲出来也很容易。但问题是,做起来就不简单了:这需要付诸很多努力,甚或一辈子才能实现。

Nothing worth doing in life is ever easy. If you want to do great work, it's going to take a lot of hard work to do it. And you're going to have to break out of your comfort zone and take some chances that will scare the crap out of you.

需要穷尽毕生精力的事情必定不容易。成大事者必先苦其心志。因此,你必须走出舒适区,去经历、去体验那些会让你害怕的机会。

But you know, I can't think of a better way to spend your life. I mean, what's life for if not finding yourself and trying to become the best, most genuine version of you that you can be?

况且,人这一辈子,若到头来都认不清自己、未能长成最好最真实的自己,还有什么意义呢?

That's what Steve Jobs meant when he said this at a Stanford University commencement speech:

正如史蒂夫-乔布斯在斯坦福大学的毕业典礼上所言:

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.

时间宝贵,不要虚掷光阴过着他人的生活。不要让周遭的聒噪言论蒙蔽你内心的声音。

You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

你要相信,生活中的偶然冥冥中也能指引未来。你要心怀信念——相信你的直觉、命运、生活抑或因缘。这个方法一直给我力量,促使我过得卓然不同。

The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.

成大事的唯一途径就是做自己喜欢的事情。若你还没找到,那就继续追寻吧,不要停下来。

Now, let's for a moment be realistic about this. Insightful as that advice may be, it sounds a little too amorphous and challenging to resonate with today's quick-fix culture. These days, if you can't tell people exactly what to do and how to do it, it falls on deaf ears.

现在我们来实际一点:建议或许很深刻,但听完却让人无从着手,难以运用到当今的快节奏文化中。现如今,如果一个建议讲不清具体做什么、该怎么做的话,那么说了也等于白说。

Not only that, but what Jobs was talking about, what I'm talking about, requires focus and discipline, two things that are very hard to come by these days. Why? Because, focus and discipline are hard. It's so much easier to give in to distraction and instant gratification. Easy and addictive.

不仅如此,乔布斯的讲话和我要说的话都需要集中和自制——这两个品质在当今社会非常难能可贵。何以见得?因为集中和自制都不容易做到。人们很容易分散注意力、寻求即时快感——舒服且容易上瘾。

To give you a little incentive to take on the challenge, to embark on the road to

self-discovery, here are three huge benefits from working to become the best, most genuine version of yourself.

为激励你迎接挑战、踏上寻求自我的旅途,我列出了成为最好最真实自己后的三大益处:

It will make you happy. Getting to know yourself will make you feel more comfortable in your own skin. It will reduce your stress and anxiety. It will make you a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend. It will make you a better person. Those are all pretty good reasons, if you ask me.

你会感到快乐。了解自己后会让你更愉悦地接受自己,减轻你的压力和焦虑,使你成为更好的伴侣、父母、朋友,让你成为一个更美好的人。这些益处难道不够说服你为之努力吗?

Besides, you really won't achieve anything significant in life until you know the real you. Not your brand, your LinkedIn profile, how you come across, or what anyone thinks of you. The genuine you. There's one simple reason why you shouldn't try to be something you're not, and it's that you can't. The real you will come out anyway. So forget your personal brand and start spending time on figuring out who you really are and trying to become the best version of that you can be.

而且,只有了解真实的自己方能成就大事。你需要了解那个真实的你,而不是你的品牌、名誉、LinkedlIn资料、你的过去抑或他人对你的看法。为什么你不应该过他人的生活?很简单,因为首先你不是“其他人”,你的本性总有一天会现形。所以,请放开你的品牌形象,努力发掘真实自我、努力把自己经营成最好的自己吧。

You pay a huge price when you engage in mindless distraction. The only people that really care about you are your loved ones, your friends and family. Everyone else is too busy living his own little mini drama. To put it bluntly, your network couldn't care less about you.

盲目分心的代价很大。真正在乎你的只有你所爱的人、你的亲人和朋友。而其他人都只围着自己的小日子转罢了。说穿了,社交关系中的人并不可靠。

That's why engaging yourself and others in mindless distraction isn't worth your time or theirs. More important, it will absolutely keep you from focusing on accomplishing whatever great things you might manage to achieve in life if you set your mind to it.

所以,浪费时间盲目分心应付自己或他人都没有意义。更严重的是,当你决心着手生活中的大计划时,分心会有碍你集中完成目标。

There's a business concept called opportunity cost. When you choose one course of action, you miss out on all the other opportunities you might have chosen to pursue but didn't. People rarely stop to consider that until it's too late.

有一个商业术语叫“机会成本”。当你选定某个行为时,你也会错过其他原本可以选择的机会。很少有人能意识到这一点,就算意识到也为时已晚。

It's the most exciting journey you will ever embark on. We're all enthralled by adventure. We love to read and watch movies about other people's journeys, real or imagined. The Hobbit. Raiders of the Lost Ark. Into Thin Air.

这将是一段前所未有的有趣旅程。我们都乐于于冒险,热爱阅读和观看有关他人或真实或虚构的旅程电影,例如,《霍比特人》、《夺宝奇兵》或《走进空气稀薄地带》。

We love to take vacations, to travel to all sorts of places. And when we do, we revel in the natural beauty of Kauai's Na Pali Coast, the Grand Canyon, the Alps. We marvel at the great works of others: the art, the architecture, the Pyramids, Stonehenge.

我们热爱假期,喜欢到各地旅行。我们会惊叹于考艾岛上纳波利海岸的自然风光,迷上美国大峡谷、阿尔卑斯山。我们也会惊叹于他人的杰作:艺术、建筑、金字塔、巨石阵等等。

And yet, the opportunity for adventure is right there in front of each and every one of us. Until you take it, you'll never know what you might achieve. What marvels you might create. What you might discover. All you have to do is start the journey.

而且,冒险之门向每个人敞开。打开这扇门之前,谁也不知道能获得哪些收获,会创造哪些奇迹,又将有什么新的发现……你所要做的,仅仅是启程。

经典英语美文欣赏80篇(适用于成人)

经典英语美文欣赏80篇(适用于成人) 英语美文欣赏80篇 01-The Love of Beauty 英语美文欣赏80篇 02-The Happy Door 英语美文欣赏80篇 03-Born to Win 英语美文欣赏80篇 04-Work and Pleasure 英语美文欣赏80篇 05-Mirror,Mirror-What do I See 英语美文欣赏80篇 06-On Motes and Beams 英语美文欣赏80篇 07-An October Sunrise 英语美文欣赏80篇 08-To be or not to be 英语美文欣赏80篇 09-Gettysburg address 英语美文欣赏80篇10-First Inaugural Address

英语美文欣赏80篇11-American black bears 英语美文欣赏80篇 12-Coal-fired power plants 英语美文欣赏80篇 13-Statistics 英语美文欣赏80篇 14-Obtaining Fresh water from icebergs 英语美文欣赏80篇 15-The source of Energy 英语美文欣赏80篇 16-Vision 英语美文欣赏80篇 17-Folk Cultures 英语美文欣赏80篇 18-Bacteria 英语美文欣赏80篇 19-Sleep 英语美文欣赏80篇 20-Cells and Temperature 英语美文欣赏80篇21-Youth 英语美文欣赏80篇 22-Three Days to See 英语美文欣赏80篇 23-Companionship of Books 英语美文欣赏80篇24-If I Rest,I Rust 英语美文欣赏80篇 25-Ambition 英语美文欣赏80篇 26-What I have Lived for 英语美文欣赏80篇 27-When Love Beckons You 英语美文欣赏80篇 28-The Road to Success

中英双语美文欣赏---英语美文欣赏10(中英双语)

英语美文欣赏10 Melancholy Music Can Make Us Feel Better 听悲伤的歌会让心情变好 We've all turned to melancholy music to make us feel better at some point in our lives, but why does doubling down on the sadness help drag us out of the mire? 我们都曾在生命中的某些时刻通过听悲伤的歌来让自己好受一些,但是为什么更多的悲伤反而会让我们走出低谷呢? A new study sheds light on what's going on inside our brains when we match our music to our feels, and it looks like sad music can be enjoyable - rather than simply depressing - because it triggers positive memories that can help to lift our mood. 一项新的研究阐明了当我们将所听的音乐与心中感受配对的时候我们大脑里到底发生了什么。其结果显示:悲伤的音乐也能带来愉悦(而非简单地令人低落),因为它能通过触发积极的回忆来使我们的心情变好。 Psychologist Adrian North from Curtin University in Australia says there are two groups of possible explanations for why we enjoy listening to sad music like this: one from social psychology, and one from cognitive neuroscience. 澳大利亚科廷大学的心理学家阿德里安·诺斯说,对于我们为什么这么享受悲伤的歌曲这一点,有两派可能的解释:一派来自社会心理学,一派来自认知神经科学。 In terms of social psychology, one way of thinking about this is that we feel better about ourselves if we focus on someone who's doing even worse, a well-known process known as downward social comparison. Everything's going to be okay, because this person is having an even worse day than you are. 从社会心理学这一派来讲,有一种思路是:当我们把注意力集中在一个比我们过得还惨的人身上时,我们会觉得好受些,这个过程就是著名的下行社会比较。一切都会好起来的,因为这个人比你过得更惨。 Another hypothesis from social psychology is that people like to listen to music that mirrors the tone of their current life circumstances – the songs act as a sort of tuning fork for our own situations, and they resonate with us. 社会心理学这一派的另一个假说是:人们喜欢听那些能反映自己现在生活境况基调的音乐,这些歌对于我们的境况来讲起到了类似音叉的作用,他们与我们产生了共鸣。 You Don’t Lack Reason But Action 你不缺道理,缺的是行动力 If you ask me what are the things that people should not do no matter how, the

英语美文欣赏

Sun smile 阳光般的微笑 The sun shone brightly on the ground in front of her feet as she pondered the reality of light. 太阳光芒四射地照耀这她脚前这片大地。她在沉思,思考着阳光是怎么一回事: How did light get here? Who made it and why? 它是怎么来到这儿的?谁让它来的?来做什么? She instinctively stepped into the sun spot and instantly felt warmer, brighter, and fuller of life and energy. 她下意识地踏进阳光里,整个人立刻觉得暖和,清醒起来,浑身充满了生机和活力。 The sun wrapped her in comfort and stability for, if nothing else,she could always count on the sun waking her up most mornings. 阳光笼罩着她,她感到很舒服很踏实,如果没有其他事情,大多数早晨,她都会让阳光叫她起床。

Its predictable radiance felt like the mother she never had as her childhood was characterized more so by pain and heartache than comfort and love. 太阳那如期而至的光芒就像妈妈一样,虽然她从来就没有感受过母爱,她的童年记忆里满是痛苦和伤心,而不是关怀和爱。 She stepped out of the sunlight and felt that all-too-familiar anxious pang in the pit of her stomach as she remembered how horrible it was to live in her childhood home. 她从阳光里走出来,一阵再熟悉不过的恼人的悲痛袭击了她的胸口,让她回忆起童年时的可怕生活。 Memories flooded her mind as she unsuccessfully tried to block them out by thinking good thoughts. 她努力朝好的方面想,希望能抵挡住如洪水般泛滥的痛苦回忆,但是无济于事。 Oh how she wished she could curl up in the middle of the sun and allow its love to encase her for all eternity. 她是多么希望可以蜷缩在温暖的阳光里,让太阳的爱包裹着她直到永远。 But, no, she was stuck here on earth with those who didn't feel the sun's rays the same way she did,who didn't feel deeply connected to this amazing source of life. 然而,这是不可能的。她只能在这儿,和其他人一起。其他人不像她一样渴望阳光,也不曾觉得自己与这神奇的生命之源有什么紧密联系。 All she could do was stand in the sun on occasion and shut out the rest of the world for a little while. 她唯一能做的就是偶尔站在阳光里,和阳光以外的世界短暂地隔离。 Maybe if she stood here long enough they would cease to exist. 她想也许只要一直站在阳光里,外面的世界也就不复存在了。

80篇中英双语美文

>01 The Language of Music A painter hangs his or her finished picture on a wall, and everyone can see it. A composer writes a work, but no one can hear it until it is performed. Professional singers and players have great responsibilities, for the composer is utterly dependent on them. A student of music needs as long and as arduous a training to become a performer as a medical student needs to become a doctor. Most training is concerned with technique, for musicians have to have the muscular proficiency of an athlete or a ballet dancer. Singers practice breathing every day, as their vocal chords would be inadequate without controlled muscular support. String players practice moving the fingers of the left hand up and down, while drawing the bow to and fro with the right arm -- two entirely different movements. Singers and instrumentalists have to be able to get every note perfectly in tune. Pianists are spared this particular anxiety, for the notes are already there, waiting for them, and it is the piano tuner's responsibility to tune the instrument for them. But they have their own difficulties: the hammers that hit the strings have to be coaxed not to sound like percussion, and each overlapping tone has to sound clear. This problem of getting clear texture is one that confronts student conductors: they have to learn to know every note of the music and how it should sound, and they have to aim at controlling these sounds with fanatical but selfless authority. Technique is of no use unless it is combined with musical knowledge and understanding. Great artists are those who are so thoroughly at home in the language of music that they can enjoy performing works written in any century. 01 音乐的语言 画家将已完成的作品挂在墙上,每个人都可以观赏到。作曲家写完了一部作品,得由演奏者将其演奏出来,其他人才能得以欣赏。因为作曲家是如此完全地依赖于职业歌手和职业演奏者,所以职业歌手和职业演奏者肩上的担子可谓不轻。一名学音乐的学生要想成为一名演奏者,需要经受长期的、严格的训练,就象一名医科的学生要成为一名医生一样。绝大多数的训练是技巧性的。音乐家们控制肌肉的熟练程度,必须达到与运动员或巴蕾舞演员相当的水平。歌手们每天都练习吊嗓子,因为如果不能有效地控制肌肉的话,他们的声带将不能满足演唱的要求。弦乐器的演奏者练习的则是在左手的手指上下滑动的同时,用右手前后拉动琴弓--两个截然不同的动作。歌手和乐器演奏者必须使所有的音符完全相同协调。钢琴家们则不用操这份心,因为每个音符都已在那里等待着他们了。给钢琴调音是调音师的职责。但调音师们也有他们的难处:他们必须耐心地调理敲击琴弦的音锤,不能让音锤发出的声音象是打击乐器,而且每个交叠的音都必

精选英语美文赏析

精选英语美文赏析 优美的文字于细微处传达出美感,并浸润着人们的心灵。通过英语美文,不仅能够感受语言之美,领悟语言之用,还能产生学习语言的兴趣。度过一段美好的时光,即感悟生活,触动心灵。下面是为大家带来精选英语美文赏析,希望大家喜欢! 精选英语美文:无需苦苦寻找诚实的人 I BELIEVE in people. However much of a mess we seem to make of the world, it is people who have brought about all the progress we know, and I don't mean just material progress. All have been for-mulated and expressed by men and women. Even when people make mistakes it seems to me they usually make them from right motives. Most of us want to do good. I believe in people because I have seen a great many of them in different parts of the world. I would rather trust my own experience and observation than the cynical remarks of unhappy men. My belief not only has given me a happy life but has made possible any really useful work I have done. Of course I like people, too. As a newspaperman for twenty years in this country, Europe and Australia, I met all

英语阅读(中英文对照)文章汇总

双语阅读文章汇总(一) 一、冰淇淋居然可以高温不化 Ice cream that doesn't melt! Japanese scientists create a recipe that includes a secret strawberry extract to keep the treat cool in warm weather 日本科学家发明了不会融化的冰激凌,还能在炎热的天气里保持凉爽的口感 Japanese scientists have come up with a cool solution to stop ice cream melting before you've had time to finish it. 近日,日本科学家们找到了防止冰激凌融化的好方法。 C (82.4 F) weather and still tas The ice cream retains its original shape in 28° tes 'cool',according to the report. 据报道,这种冰激凌在28度的温度中不仅不会融化,还能保持清凉的口感。 A strawberry extract stops the oil and water from separating so quickly whic h means the icecreams (pictured) stay frozen - even if you blow a hair dryer at them, reports suggest 报道称,冰淇淋不会融化是由于一种叫做草莓提取物的物质,它减缓了水油分离的速度,使得冰激凌即使是在吹风机的吹拂下依旧保持形状。 The company created the ice creams by accident. 这种冰激凌的产生完全是出于意外。 A pastry chef tried to use the strawberry extract to create a new kind of con fectionery in orderto use strawberries that were not the right shape to be sold . 甜点师本想用这种草莓提取物创造一种新型甜品,以试图把因品相不好而无法顺利出售的草 莓利用起来。 He realised the cream would solidify when put in contact with the strawberry extract. 他发现可以使用草莓提取物来减缓冰激凌融化的速度。

英语美文100篇·中英文对照,附带美图

谈一场恋爱就像读一本新书 Starting a new book is a risk, just like falling in love. You have to commit to it. You open the pages knowing a little bit about it maybe, from the back or from a blurb on the front. But who knows, right? Those bits and pieces aren’t always right. 读一本新书恰似坠入爱河,是场冒险。你得全身心投入进去。翻开书页之时,从序言简介直至封底你或许都知之甚少。但谁又不是呢?字里行间的只言片语亦不总是正确。 Sometimes people advertise themselves as one thing and then when you get deep into it you realize that they’re something completely different. Either there was some good marketing attached to a terrible book, or the story was only explained in a superficial way and once you reach the middle of the book, you realize there’s so much more to this book than anyone could have ever told you. 有时候你会发现,人们自我推销时是一种形象,等你再深入了解后,他们又完全是另一种模样了。有时拙作却配有出色的市场推销,故事的叙述却流于表面,阅读过半后,你方才发觉:这本书真是出乎意料地妙不可言,这种感受只要靠自己去感悟! You start off slow. The story is beginning to unfold. You’re unsure. It’s a big commitment lugging this tome around. Maybe this book won’t be that great but you’ll feel guilty about putting it down. Maybe it’ll be so awful you’ll keep hate-reading or just set it down immediately and never pick it up again. Or maybe you’ll come back to it some night, drunk or lonely — needing something to fill the time, but it won’t be any better than it was when you first started reading it. 你慢慢翻页,故事开始缓慢展开,而你却依旧心存犹疑。阅读这样的巨著需要百分之百的投入。或许它并不是你想象中的伟大的作品,奈何半途弃读会使你觉得不安。又或许,故事真的很烂,你要么咬牙苦读下去,要么立刻放弃束之高阁。抑或某个酒醉或孤寂的夜晚,你又重新捡起这本书来——但只为打发时光。不管怎样,它并没有比你初次阅读时好多少。

英语美文欣赏

英语美文欣赏 第一篇:A Grain of Sand 一粒沙子William Blake/威廉.布莱克To see a world in a grain of sand, And a heaven in a wild fllower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour. 从一粒沙子看到一个世界,从一朵野花看到一个天堂,把握在你手心里的就是无限,永恒也就消融于一个时辰。 第二篇:Love Your Life 热爱生活Henry David Thoreau/享利.大卫.梭罗However mean your life is,meet it and live it ;do not shun it and call it hard names.It is not so bad as you are.It looks poorest when you are richest.The fault-finder will find faults in paradise.Love your life,poor as it is.You may perhaps have some pleasant,thrilling,glorious hourss,even in a poor-house.The setting sun is reflected from the windows of the alms-house as brightly as from the rich man's abode;the snow melts before its door as early in the spring.I do not see but a quiet mind may live as contentedly there,and have as cheering thoughts,as in a palace.The town's poor seem to me often to live the most independent lives of any.May be they are simply great enough to receive without misgiving.Most think that they are above being supported by the town;but it often happens that they are not above supporting themselves by dishonest means.which should be more disreputable.Cultivate poverty like a garden herb,like sage.Do not trouble yourself much to get new things,whether clothes or friends,Turn the old,return to them.Things do not change;we change.Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. 不论你的生活如何卑贱,你要面对它生活,不要躲避它,更别用恶言咒骂它。它不像你那样坏。你最富有的时候,倒是看似最穷。爱找缺点的人就是到天堂里也能找到缺点。你要爱你的生活,尽管它贫穷。甚至在一个济贫院里,你也还有愉快、高兴、光荣的时候。夕阳反射在济贫院的窗上,像身在富户人家窗上一样光亮;在那门前,积雪同在早春融化。我只看到,一个从容的人,在哪里也像在皇宫中一样,生活得心满意足而富有愉快的思想。城镇中的穷人,我看,倒往往是过着最独立不羁的生活。也许因为他们很伟大,所以受之无愧。大多数人以为他们是超然的,不

英语美文欣赏64(中英双语)(20200519173225)

英语美文欣赏64 勇敢面对自己内心的敌人 We are not born with courage, but neither are we born with fear. Maybe some of our fears are brought on by your own experiences, by what someone has told you, by what you've read in the papers. Some fears are valid, like walking alone in a bad part of town at two o'clock in the morning. But once you learn to avoid that situation, you won't need to live in fear of it. 我们的勇气并不是与生俱来的,我们的恐惧也不是。也许有些恐惧来自你 的亲身经历,别人告诉你的故事,或你在报纸上读到的东西。有些恐惧可以理解,例如在凌晨两点独自走在城里不安全的地段。但是一旦你学会避免那种情 况,你就不必生活在恐惧之中。 Fears, even the most basic ones, can totally destroy our ambitions. Fear can destroy fortunes. Fear can destroy relationships. Fear, if left unchecked, can destroy our lives. Fear is one of the many enemies lurking inside us. 恐惧,哪怕是最基本的恐惧,也可能彻底粉碎我们的抱负。恐惧可能摧毁 财富,也可能摧毁一段感情。如果不加以控制,恐惧还可能摧毁我们的生活。 恐惧是潜伏于我们内心的众多敌人之一。 Let me tell you about five of the other enemies we face from within. The first enemy that you've got to destroy before it destroys you is indifference. What a tragic disease this is! "Ho-hum, let it slide. I'll just drift along." Here's one problem with drifting: you can't drift your way to the top of the mountain. 让我来告诉你我们面临的其他五个内在敌人。第一个你要在它袭击你之前 将其击败的敌人是冷漠。打着哈欠说:"随它去吧,我就随波逐流吧。"这是多 么可悲的疾病啊!随波逐流的问题是:你不可能漂流到山顶去。 The second enemy we face is indecision. Indecision is the thief of opportunity and enterprise. It will steal your chances for a better future. Take a sword to this enemy. 我们面临的第二个敌人是优柔寡断。它是窃取机会和事业的贼,它还会偷 去你实现更美好未来的机会。向这个敌人出剑吧! The third enemy inside is doubt. Sure, there's room for healthy skepticism. You can't believe everything. But you also can't let doubt take over. Many people doubt the past, doubt the future, doubt each other, doubt the government, doubt the possibilities and doubt the opportunities. Worse of all, they doubt themselves. I'm telling you, doubt will destroy your life and your chances of success. It will empty both your bank account and your heart. Doubt is an enemy. Go after it. Get rid of it. 第三个内在的敌人是怀疑。当然,正常的怀疑还是有一席之地的,你不能

英语美文欣赏带翻译

Friends or 'Enemies?' When I was younger, my Dad used to tell me: "Boys don't want to be your friend." He then left the rest to my imagination. At the time, I didn't agree. I thought: I can crack a good joke, I know how to shoot a hoop, and I'm a cheerful person (but not in an annoying way). What kind of boy wouldn't want to be around that kind of girl? Turns out, my Dad was right. Not to be all "Samantha Brick" about it, but in my experience, single, heterosexual men aren't actively looking for an exclusively platonic relationship with a woman they find sexually attractive. This of course is not a revolutionary concept. In fact, it seems pretty natural to me. Now, I will be the first to say that it is really and truly the most wonderful thing in the world if the attraction is mutual. But the Powers That Be seem to like to play these complicated little mating games with humans where the guy we want to re-enact scenes from 9? Weeks with sees our attractiveness level as akin to that of a discarded dishcloth, and the most physical we could see ourselves being with the guy who actually likes us is a game of ping pong over an especially long table. All of which means that someone usually ends up getting rejected. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I have struggled with the scenario where I am not interested in a man romantically, but I want to keep him as a friend because he is funny and I enjoy his company, or he has shown himself to be that rare specimen known as "a nice, genuine person, " or he simply doesn't mention his therapist in every other sentence. Rather than string him along and give him hope, I feel compelled to somehow communicate to him sooner rather than later that we'll just be staying friends, nothing more. Otherwise, I think I am being unfair to him. Why should he waste his romantic stamina on me when there are loads of other single women out there who might fall instantly in love with him? The thing is, it can sometimes be tricky to reject a man and keep him as a friend. If the operation is not executed carefully, you may end up creating a "menemy." It requires a certain amount of skill to be able to turn down a man's sexual advances or romantic gestures and then get him to agree to meet you for blueberry pancakes the following weekend and chat about the latest Woody Allen film. Some men aren't satisfied with just that. I'm not clear why. What's so bad about friendship? Everyone needs buddies. But I've seen men react poorly or simply fall off the face of the earth. I get it -- their feelings are hurt. None of us likes getting rejected. But in my experience, some men find it especially soul-crushing. I am only bringing all of this up because I recently had to go through this scenario again. I had spent some time cultivating a friendship with a man who, in my defense, I thought was gay. So I didn't see the harm in him buying me the occasional falafel, or accepting an invitation to see a film with him. Isn't that what friends are for? But a mutual friend shed light on his sexual orientation (straight) and suggested that his intentions -- and attentions -- weren't platonic. He had never "made the moves" but now it was all crystal clear -- that explains the way he had looked at me that time the tahini sauce dribbled down my chin! Since he had clearly been too timid to express his feelings, I thought I would be clever this time and subtly mention the dates I had been going on, focusing on the one guy I was kind of keen on, so that he would know that I was "unavailable" for heavy petting and those sorts of activities, but that I was available for things like roller skating, falafel-eating and shooting the breeze. Doesn't that sound nice? That way, he would known not to try to lean in for a kiss, and I wouldn't have to pull the Stevie Wonder dance and dodge him went he went for it. It was like pre-rejection, yet I was sparing his feelings because he didn't even have to put himself out there! I really thought I was being brilliant. It backfired, of course. Said man ended up sending me an email rant accusing me of being insensitive by talking about other men when he had "feelings for me." As if I am psychic, by the way, just because I am a woman! How was I supposed to know that? I think in his mind we were dating. In my mind, he was my new gay BFF. In the end, I got mad at him for getting mad at me, and now the friendship has ended. And I have created yet another "menemy." Look, I have also tried the direct thing: "I really like you, but only as a friend, " but you can only do that when the guy has made his intentions clear, and in my experience, they either cope okay (though rarely do I feel much enthusiasm for friendship after that), or they really don't cope well. I also tried the thing where you make them think they are rejecting you, but it gets quite confusing and only works if the guy isn't very sharp, and why would I -- or you -- be hanging out with someone not that sharp in the first place? As we all remember, Billy Crystal's character says men and women can't be friends in When Harry Met Sally because the sex stuff gets in the way. I do have single, male, heterosexual friends with whom I have an easy, non-romantic rapport, but I honestly don't know if they would walk away if I was sprawled naked on a bed calling out to them. I may not be everybody's cup of tea, but sometimes, I wonder if they wonder. And they may wonder if I wonder. If so, I hope they'll keep it to

相关文档