to grandmother 's house we go

by Barbara Wahlberg 巴巴拉?瓦尔贝格

It's a beautiful summer morning. The girls pile out of the car. I shoo them, tell them to behave. They are at that silly age; nine and seven. Their laughter is so genuine, so full of life. No one should reprimand this sort of fun. We walk into the building. I stop at the front desk to sign in and then we head toward the elevators. The girls are squirming, poking at each other, softly screaming, gleeful. "They are full of the devil," as the old expression goes. They are familiar with this trip.
这是夏季一个美丽的早晨。孩子们从车里挤出来。我发出嘘、嘘的声音，告诫她们要注意自己的举止。她们正值那种傻乎乎的年龄，九岁和七岁。她们的笑声如此纯真，发自内心，又如此具有感染力。谁都不应该呵斥那种顽皮。我们步入大楼。我在前面的桌子旁停下来，进行出入登记，然后我们朝电梯走去。孩子们叽叽喳喳地说笑着，互相推来搡去，不时地发出轻柔的尖叫声，她们真是兴奋。正如俗话所说的，“她们被恶魔缠住了”。她们对此种旅行，早已熟悉了。

The elevator doors open, we step out onto the second floor and pass the nurses' desk. There are four older women sitting in wheelchairs facing the nurses' station. One is almost comatose； two are shrunken with age, and one seems too young and spry to be here. They all notice the girls. You can't miss them with their flowing strawberry blond hair. The children are like two beacons of light flashing through their day, which would otherwise fade within the fog of yesterday and tomorrow.
"Come here, sweeties," the spry woman calls to them. "How beautiful." Eleanor, my youngest, runs up to the woman and hugs her. It's all right, we know her. She is always sitting here. Her name is Evelyn, and she loves the girls. She reaches out, touches Eleanor's hair like it is some elixir of life, and smiles. "Beautiful," she repeats.
电梯门开了，我们走出电梯，到了二楼，经过护士的办公桌。四位年迈的老太太坐在轮椅里，对着护士们的办公室。一位老太太几乎处于昏迷状态，两位年事已高，形容枯槁，另一位看上去既年轻又活跃，似乎这儿并不是她呆的地方。她们四人全都注意到了这对女孩；她们一头飘逸的草莓黄的头发，你根本不可能不注意她们。孩子们就象是在她们这一天闪过的两道光，要不是这光，这一天就会因为昨天和明天的迷雾而黯然失色。“过来，亲爱的，”那位活泼的老太太喊她们。“多漂亮啊。”我的小女儿埃莉诺跑过去，拥抱了一下老太太。没关系，我们认识她。她叫伊芙琳，总是坐在那儿，她喜欢这两个孩子。她伸出手，轻轻抚摸着埃莉诺的头发，仿佛那是生命中的灵丹妙药一样。她微微一笑，“真漂亮 ，”她又说了一遍。

"Here to see Grandma?" s

omeone else pipes in. "Yes," I say. "Nanny," the girls correct in unison. The comatose woman next to Evelyn begins to moan. Eleanor fidgets uncomfortably, slips out of Evelyn's arms, and runs down the hall. Corinne runs after her. I wave my hand good-bye and follow them. Nanny is in her room. I can hear the sounds of surprise and happiness as I near the door. The girls are hugging and kissing her when I walk in. She is crying ...as usual.
来看外婆吗？”有人插了一句。“是的，”我回答。“太婆，”孩子们异口同声地纠正道。伊芙琳身旁那位处于半昏迷状态的老太太开始呻吟起来，埃莉诺不自在地扭动着身子，从伊芙琳的臂弯里溜出来，沿着大厅跑开了，科琳跑上去追她。我挥挥手再见，也跟上她们。太婆在房间里，走近门口，我就听到充满惊讶和兴奋的喊叫声。我进去时，孩子们正拥抱太婆，吻太婆。太婆在哭……跟往常一样。

"Barbara!" she shouts, "Ah, how nice, how nice." I understand this communication, half garbled as it is. There are so few words I understand the first time she says them. She usually has to repeat herself a few times before I get it. "Hi, Nann." I bend down to kiss her, hug her. "Give Nanny her present, girls." Corinne hands Nanny the gift bag. In their excitement, the two girls start tearing the tissue paper out of the top. "Slow down," I tell them, "Nann can do it." "We just want to help, Mom," Eleanor retorts. "Okay, okay," Nanny reassures me. "Look, Nanny, perfume," Eleanor holds up a bottle of cologne. "Yeah, and powder, and lotion, and shampoo," adds Corinne. She pulls the bag open wide so her great-grandmother can see inside. "Oh, my favorite. Oh, you shouldn't do this." She starts to cry, again. "Don't cry, Nann." I get up from the side of her bed to comfort her. "You know I always keep you supplied in Soft Musk."
“巴巴拉！”她大声叫着，“噢，太好了，太好了。”我明白这种交流，虽然有一半是猜出来的。第一次听她这么说的时候，我能听懂的词没几个。她总要重复好几遍，我才懂。“你好，外婆。”我俯下身去，吻她、拥抱她。 “孩子们，把礼物给太婆。” 科琳把礼物袋递给了外婆。两个孩子激动地撕扯着上面的包装纸。“慢一点”，我说，“太婆能行。”“我们只是想帮太婆，妈妈，”埃莉诺反驳说。“没事，没事，”外婆安慰我。“太婆，看，香水，”埃莉诺举起了一瓶香水。“是呀，还有香粉，润肤露，洗发水，”科琳补充道。她把袋子拽得大开，好让太婆看到里面的东西。“噢，都是我最喜欢的东西。噢，你们不该这样。”她又开始哭起来。“别哭，外婆。”我从她的床边起身安慰她，“你知道，我不让你缺少润肤霜”

She loves Avon's Soft Musk. She has worn it for as long as I can remember. I've been giving it to her for

Christmas for years. Now, when I visit, I always bring her a few things to cheer her up. I remember how she used to cover herself with this scent. When you walked into her apartment, the air was filled with this subtle fragrance. When I dropped by for lunch, she would still be fresh from her shower. I could smell the musk cologne mingling with talcum powder and mint toothpaste when she put her arms around me to say hello, and to give me a big kiss. She smelled so fresh and clean. So good. Now, as I pull away to smooth down her wiry gray hair, she no longer smells so familiar. Her breath is not so sweet. No longer is she a melange of pleasant aromas； she smells of soap, and hospital and urine.
她喜爱雅芳牌的化妆品。从我记事起，她就一直用这个牌子。多年来，我一直送她这个作为圣诞礼物。现在，每次来看望她，我总会给她带几件让她高兴高兴。我仍然记得，她过去经常使自己浑身上下都散发着这种香味。你一走进她的公寓，便能闻到空气中弥漫着这种淡淡的香味。每当我随意来吃午饭，她会仍然一副浴后爽清的样子。她用双臂搂着我，向我问好，然后重重地吻我一下，这时我便能闻到麝香香水、爽身粉、薄荷牙膏混合在一起的味道。她的气味是如此清新，如此爽洁，真好。现在，当我用手指滑下她那粗硬而卷曲的灰白头发时，她身上已不再有那种熟悉的香味，她的呼吸也不香甜了，她的身上不再有沁人心脾的混合香味，而是一种混有香皂味、医院里的气味和尿味的难闻气味。

I dry her eyes with a tissue. The girls mill around. They are used to her tears by now. She begins to smile, again. "How are you?" "Good, Nanny, busy." "Are you with your mother?" "Yes, for a few days." "How's your husband?" "Good, Nann, working hard in Boston." We converse back and forth like this for a few minutes. The simple sentences are easier to deal with. Once in a while I ask her to repeat what she has said. I can see her frustration mounting. Usually, I try to dominate the conversation so she doesn't have to speak. "Do you want to take a walk outside?" I ask. "Yeah, let's go outside. I can show Nanny my gymnastics." Eleanor jumps up and down, eager to show off her skills. "You're such a show-off, Eleanor," says Corinne, reproachfully. "Shut-up," I say, in that natural way that mothers say shut-up, "She can show Nanny what she can do." "Well, what about me?" "You can show Nanny how you can dance." I smooth the edges of their sibling rivalry.
我用纸巾擦干她的眼泪。孩子们在绕圈圈，她们对太婆流泪已司空见惯。她又开始绽开微笑。“你好吗？”“好，外婆，挺忙。”“和妈妈在一起吗？”“是的，有几天。”“你丈夫好吗？”“好，外婆，在波士顿工作很忙。”就这样，我们你问我答地交谈了几分钟。简单的句子比较容易应付。我偶

尔要求她重复一下她说过的话。看得出，她的失望情绪在加重。通常情况下，我努力控制我们之间的谈话，好让她没有必要开口。“你想出去走一走吗？”我问她。“好，我们到外面去吧。我可以让太婆看我表演体操。”埃莉诺跳上蹦下，急着要炫耀她的本领。“你真爱表现，埃莉诺，”科琳责备她说。“住嘴，”我说，尽量象母亲们在说“住嘴”时一样，态度自然。“她可以让太婆看看她能做什么。”“噢，那我呢？”“你可以让太婆看你跳舞呀，”我在平息她们姐妹之间的敌对情绪。

Nanny shakes her head and smiles at their feuding. Some things never change. I unlock her wheelchair and secure her paralyzed leg onto the footrest so it doesn't get dragged along on the floor. "Can I push, can I push?" pleads Eleanor. "No!" I say as firmly as possible. When we get outside, we settle under some large maple trees. The breeze is wonderful and the late morning sun is perfect. Eleanor immediately begins to perform her gymnastics. Nanny watches, laughs. "Be careful," she shouts clearly, as Eleanor turns multiple cartwheels. Nann almost sounds like her old self, "My God, look at her." She looks toward me with her eyes wide open in amazement at what Eleanor can do.
外婆摇摇头，笑吟吟地看着她们在争斗。有些东西永远改变不了。我打开轮椅，把她那条已经瘫痪的腿放到脚踏上，她就不用拖拽着走路了。“我能推吗？我能推吗？”埃莉诺央求着。“不行，”我尽量果断地说。我们来到外面，在几棵大枫树下停下来。微风轻拂，清爽宜人，已近中午，阳光非常充足。埃莉诺立刻开始表演她的技艺。外婆边看边笑。“当心，”她看着埃莉诺连续侧身翻筋斗，清楚地叫道。外婆的声音象以前一样，“天哪，看她。”她看向我，双眼瞪得圆圆的，惊讶地看着埃莉诺表演。

"I miss you," I say to her as she focuses her attention once more on my daughter. She hasn't heard me. She is deaf in her left ear, even with a hearing aid. Maybe she has heard me － I don't know, but she hasn't acknowledged my statement. "I miss you," I think to myself, especially now that it is summer. The zucchini are ready in the garden. I wish you were visiting me, instead of me coming... here. I wish you were cooking away in my kitchen. Fresh tomato sauce, fried zucchini over steaming pasta in garlic and oil. I think I gained ten pounds every time you came to stay with me. You are the best cook in the world. Everything I know I learned from you. I stop thinking and turn to her, I take her hand.
“我想你，”在她又一次把注意力集中在我女儿身上时，我对她说。她没听见，她的左耳聋，即使带着助听器也不行。也许她听见了 -- 我不知道，但是，对我的话她没作出反应。“我想你，”我默默地想着，

尤其是现在，夏天已到。园里的小胡瓜已经熟了。我希望你能来看我，而不是我来……这儿。我希望你在我的厨房里做饭。新鲜的西红柿酱、热气腾腾的葱油拌面，上面还放着清炒的小甜瓜。我想，每次你到我们家来我都会胖上十磅。你是天底下最棒的厨师。我的知识全是从你那儿学来的。我不再沉思，转向她，抓住她的手。

"Richard's garden is beautiful this year." I tell her. "I made zucchini and pasta last week. I can't resist it even if I do have to fry. It was delicious, I thought of you as we feasted." She laughs, but I can see I made her sad for one moment. "What else is he growing?" "Tomatoes, lots, so I can make fresh sauce. Cabbage, onions, fenocchio, eggplant, green beans. Too much for me to cook." "It's all good for you," she tells me. "Eat all those good things." She lifts her other arm in a flourish as she gives me this advice. It is in a brace to keep it from curling in on itself because she does not have full use of it.
“理查德的菜园今年真美。”我对她说，“上星期我还做了小甜瓜和面糊。即使我非得炒一下，也无法抗拒小甜瓜。味道美极了，我们吃饭的时候想起了你。”她笑了，但我看得出，我的话让她难过了片刻。“他还种了些什么？”“西红柿，很多很多，这样我可以做新鲜果酱了。还有白菜，洋葱，fenocchio,茄子，青豆，多得我做不完。”“这些菜都有利你的健康，”她告诉我，“只吃那些有利健康的东西。”她给我提这条建议时，还举起另一只胳膊挥舞了一下，为防扭曲，这只胳臂放在一个支架里，因为她并不常用这只手臂。

I watch her as she watches my children. I remember her as she was, strong and opinionated, always busy, cooking. I remember lunches at her apartment, sitting around the table with my cousins and aunts, my mother, all the women. The little ones eating cookies or half eaten sandwiches. The table full of food: roasted peppers in garlic and oil, cold cuts, contadina salad, Italian bread and onion rolls. There was laughter and gossip. The spirit of my grandfather hovered about us. I could hear him. "Ba-ba-ra-ba, (his pet name for me), eat, EAT!!"
她看着孩子们，我看着她。记忆中，她和过去一样，身体健壮，固执己见，总在忙着烹呀，调呀。我记得在她的公寓里吃的顿顿午餐，桌子四周坐着表姐、姑妈、母亲、全是女性。孩子们吃着饼干或剩了一半的三明治。桌子上摆满了好吃的：烤葱油辣椒，凉切牛肉，康塔迪娜色拉，意大利面包和洋葱卷。餐桌旁笑声、谈话声不绝于耳。外祖父的兴奋劲就在我们周围。我能听见他在说：“巴-巴-拉-巴（他给我起的昵称），吃，吃吧！”

He's not here, anymore. Papa Joe cannot come here. We left him behind in the apartment when Nanny had her

stroke and went into the nursing home. We remember him, we cannot forget him. But his spirit cannot live here in this uniform and sterile place without the smell of coffee and garlic. We are truly alone. "Mom, I'm hungry," Eleanor leans into my lap and makes her appeal face to face. "Can we go to McDonald's?"
他已不在了。老爸乔不能来了。外婆中风住进医院时，我们把他留在了公寓。我们记得他，我们无法忘记他。但是他的兴奋劲无法呆在这没有咖啡和大蒜味，千篇一律、没有活力的地方。我们是真正孤单了。“妈妈，我饿了，”埃莉诺倚在我的腿上，求着我：“我们能去吃麦当劳吗？”

"Yes," I say, almost unconsciously, as I force myself back to reality. I look at my watch. It is eleven thirty. I must get Nanny back to her room for lunch. I get up from the bench reluctantly, not because I am sad to be going, but because I know what will happen next. We roll Nanny back to the second floor and bring her down the hall to her room. She is clutching Corinne's hand. When we get to her room, I ask her if she wants me to turn on the television. Her head is bent over, she shakes her head "no." I remind her that lunch will be here soon, but she doesn't look at me. She starts to sob into her hand.
“行，”我几乎是无意识地回答道，我强迫自己回到眼前的现实中来。看看手表，已经十一点半了，该送外婆回房用午餐了。我不情愿地从长椅上站起来，不是因为要走感到难过，而是因为我知道接下来会发生什么事。我们把外婆推回二楼，穿过大厅把她送回房间。她一直握着科琳的手。回到房间后，我问她要不要打开电视机。她把头低下去，摇了摇。我提醒她午餐快送来了，但是她并不看我，双手掩面，开始啜泣起来。

"Nanny," I say, like I’ve said dozens of times before, "please don't cry. Please ..." That's all I can say. I can't say "you'll be home soon," or "we'll see you soon," because that wouldn't be true. I might not see her for six more months. I live too far away. And she will not be going home because home is no longer there. No one can take her home, either. It's not that her children's lives are too busy, it's because no one really has the strength and endurance to handle the difficulties involved with taking care of a woman who is incontinent and partially paralyzed. I understand that. She doesn't. She cries. I know she feels like she has been deserted. She hasn't. This is just how it must be.
“外婆，”我说，就和以前几十次说的一样，“噢，别哭，噢……”我实在说不出其它什么话来。我不能说“你很快就能回家了，”或者说“我们很快会来看你，”因为那不现实。我可能六个月不能来看她，我住的地方太远了。她无法回家，因为已经没有家了。也无人能把她带回家。并不是她的孩子们都很忙，而是

因为无人真正有勇气和耐心，照顾一位内急失禁、半身不遂的老太太。我理解，但她不理解。她哭了。我知道她觉得自己被遗弃了。她并没有。现在这个样子是不得不如此。

I give her a hug. The girls hug and kiss her good-bye. Sweet, sweet Eleanor tells her to stop crying because she is making her sad. I tell the girls to wait for me by the nurses’ station, I will be right out. I bend down one more time to say good-bye. "You're my best friend," I remind her, something I once told her when I was four years old. She used to visit me on her way home from work. I loved her so much, I love her even more, now. She chuckles through her tears. I head out the door without turning around.
我拥抱了她。孩子们和她拥抱、吻别。可爱的埃莉诺叫她不要哭，因为这使她很难过。我吩咐孩子们到护士办公室旁边等我，我随后就到。我再次俯下身，与她道别。“你是我最好的朋友，”我告诉她，四岁时我就跟她这么说过。过去，她总是在下班回家时顺路来看看我。以前，我很爱她，现在更爱她了。她眼含泪水，抿嘴笑了一下。我头也没回地走出了门口。

My mother once called me on the phone. She told me Nanny was giving her three grown daughters a hard time. She is also uncooperative with the nurses, and always upsets her roommates.
妈妈有次打电话给我，说外婆正让她的三个成年女儿日子不好过。她与护士们也不合作，还总是骚扰室友。

My mother is very upset about what has happened to her mother. She told me this was not the mother she remembered. Her mother always cared about herself, always looked her best, cared about her body to the point of being fastidious. She told me how Grandpa had told his daughters on his deathbed that their troubles were just beginning. "Your mother," he told them, "is a very pampered woman. I gave her everything. I did everything for her. She is going to expect the same from you girls." Then, he died.
我妈妈对发生在自己母亲身上的事情颇感不安。她告诉我，这不是她记忆中的母亲。记忆里，她的母亲很注重自身形象，总是打扮得光采照人，总是对自己的身体爱护到近乎吹毛求疵的程度。她说，外公在临死前对女儿们说，她们的烦恼才刚刚开始。“你妈妈，”他对女儿们说，“是个被宠坏了的女人。我给了她一切，我为她做了一切。她会同样指望你们也能这么做。”说完，他就辞世了。

She never really took care of herself after that, healthwise, that is. The doctor told my mother and aunts that she did not take her high blood pressure medicine as prescribed. He believed that was the cause of her stroke. Her daughters believe she brought the stroke on herself so someone would have to take care of her. What she didn't count on was the severity of the stroke. Now, someone is taking ca

re of her. It's just not one of her daughters.
外公去世后，她并没有真正照顾过自己的健康。医生告诉我母亲和姨妈们，外婆并没有按照处方规定服用降压药。医生相信那正是她中风的原因。女儿们认为她是自己要中风的，因为她一病，就必须有人照顾她。她只是没有料到，中风的程度如此严重。如今，的确有人在照顾她，但却不是女儿中的任何一个。

"She's suffering," my mother cried into the phone. "Why didn't she just die? Why does God let her go through this torment?" "I don't know," was all I could say. It was all the comfort I could give her. I pull out of the parking lot. "McDonald's?" I shout. "McDonald's!" the girls agree. "Here we go." "Mom?" asks Eleanor. "Is Nanny okay?"
“她在受苦，”母亲在电话里哭诉，“那次她怎么不死掉？为什么上帝不能让她摆脱这种折磨？”“我不知道，”我能说的就是这些，这是我能给她的全部安慰。我把车子开出停车场。“吃麦当劳？”我喊道。“麦当劳！”孩子们应声附和。“走吧。”“妈咪？”埃莉诺问，“太婆没事吧？”

"Yes." I reassure her. "Don't worry, she'll be all right." And I wonder if Nanny will be. I ran out so fast I don't think she saw me leave. I imagine she is still looking down into her hands, or perhaps she is now calmly eating her lunch. I remember how she looked when she was young, when I was three and four. Beautiful, in her early fifties, stopping by in her yellow and white ’59 Dodge, black, cat's eye sunglasses shading her Latin eyes, red lipstick, black hair neatly coifed, sweet-smelling, laughing as I toddled toward her, holding out her long slim arms. She was my best friend.
“没事”我安慰她。“别担心，太婆会好的。”我不知道外婆是否能好。走时，我跑得那么快，我想她没有看见我离开。想象中，她仍然垂着头，凝视着双手。也许，现在她在安静地吃午饭。我仍记得自己三、四岁时她年轻时的模样。那时，她虽已年过半百，但依然美丽迷人，开着那辆在黄白相间的59’多奇车来串门，乌黑的猫眼太阳镜遮住了她拉丁人似的双眸。她涂着红色的口红，乌黑的头发仔细地塞在科伊夫帽中，浑身散发着清香，当我跌跌撞撞向她走去时，她边笑边伸出修长的手臂。她是我最好的朋友。

***********

Information related to the text
　
Nursing home: Searching for the right type of nursing home can be a traumatic experience. The quality of accommodation and care can vary significantly between homes and exploring the various options is often difficult. Finding the right placement is not an easy task, and finding the right care can be a long and arduous process when time is at a premium. Each featured nursing home has a description, photographs and contact information enabling one to get further information

and finally arrive at an informed decision.
　
A quality nursing home offers a full array of personal, dietary, therapeutic, social, recreational and nursing services. Meals, laundry, housekeeping and medical services are provided. In addition, most not-for-profit homes offer religious services and counseling programs.

Language notes
　
1.“They are full of the devil” as the old expression goes.
　
（正如俗话所说的，“她们被恶魔缠住了。”）
　
What the author really means is that the girls are very excited and become ignorant of the surroundings.
　
2. She reaches out, touches Eleanor's hair like it is some elixir of life, and smiles.
　
（她伸出手轻轻笑着抚摩着伊丽诺的头发，仿佛那是生命中的灵丹妙药一样。）
　
Note that there is a that-clause behind like. Like, as a preposition, can be followed by a that-clause.
　
3.“Here to see Grandma?” someone else pipes in.
　
（“来看外婆吗？”有人插了一句。）
　
To pipe in means to begin to speak or sing unexpectedly.
　
4. I understand this communication, half garbled as it is.
　
（我听得懂她的话，虽然有一半意思是猜出来的。）
　
In the sentence as means though or although and when it is used with this meaning the branch sentence is usually inversed.
　
5. What she didn't count on was the severity of the stroke.
　
（她没有料到中风的严重程度。）
　
To count on means to expect or to take into account. It also means to rely on sb/sth with confidence.
　
e.g. Don't count on a salary increase this year