Unit 1Family and Marriage
背景知识
Definition
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found. Such a union, often formalized via a wedding ceremony, may also be called matrimony.
Polygyny
Chinese:一夫多妻
Is a form of marriage in which a man has two or more wives at the same time. Usually one wife is the “queen wife” who is accorded a h igher status than the other wives and has some authority over the other wives.
The history of polygyny
In India
It was known to have been practiced during ancient times
In the Hebrew Bible
It was a permitted practice
In the United States
It was allowed in the early history of LDS Church
In the United States
Achild has more than one mother
Child betrothals
Chinese:娃娃亲
a child's parents arrange a marriage with the parents of a child from another family Arranged marriage
Chinese:包办婚姻
is one in which someone other than the couple getting married makes the selection of the persons to be wed, meanwhile curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. Information of arranged marriage
To some extent, they don't know each other before the matrimony.
Arranged marriage is a tradition handed down through many generations. Today, arranged marriage is largely practiced in South Asia (India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh), Africa, the Middle East, and Southeast Asia and East Asia.
Priests or religious leaders as well as relatives or family friends play a major role in matchmaking.
Free marriage
Chinese:自由婚姻
You have the liberty to love and wedlock can go even without love
The freedom of marriage and divorce freedom make up the complete meaning of free marriage
Flash marriage
Chinese: 闪婚
Or blitz marriage
Is the English translation of a Chinese term that originated in the early 21st century
to describe a marriage between partners who wed after knowing one another for less than 7 months?
Hidden marriage
Chinese:隐婚
Hidden marriage is that who have fulfilled the legal procedures of the marriage, but don’t declare his "married" status to the public. Many married men and women in the city conceal their marital status, and go out without a ring in their ring fingers, like a noble single going in and out all kinds of places.
Naked marriage
Chinese:裸婚
Doing without a ring, apartment and car, is becoming more acceptable to young people who want to get married sooner rather than later.
Reading to Develop Your Ideas
by Song Jiangqin
Unit 1 Family and Marriage
Section One Pre-reading
1. Background Information
2. Appreciation of the famous sayings
No matterhe is a king or an ordinary person, the lucky stone is who can obtain happiness in family.无论他是国王还是普通人，最幸运的人是能在自己家里获得幸福的人。
All happy families resemble one another;every unhappy family is unhappy in its own fashion.
--Leo Tolstoy所有幸福的家庭彼此都很相似，而每个不幸的家庭却各有各的不幸。
Nobody who has not been in the interior of a family can say what the difficulties of any individual of that family may be.--Jane Austin
Marriage is the best of human statuses and the worst, and it will continue to be. And that is why, though its future in some form or other is as assured as anything can be, this future is as equivocal as its past. The demands that men and women make on marriage will never be fully met; they cannot be.--Jessie Bernard
3. Group Discussion
Questions for discussion
a. What is your idea picture of a family? Which family model do you prefer: one with a working dad, a stay-at-home mum, and a group of kids; one in which both dad and mum work and kids are put at a day-care center; or some other arrangements?
Explain.
b. What is the role of husband in the family, and that of the wife? Are the ymutuallt independent or is the wife mostly dependent on the husband, especially when she is not working?
Explain.
c. should one stay in a marriage once he/she gets married, or should he/ she walk away from the marriage once he/she gets unhappy about it?
d. The divorce rate in China has been increasing. It is suggested that this is the by-product of the market economy because people are moving around a lot and family ties are loosening. What is your interpretation of this social phenomenon?
Summary: Love, family and marriage (read the paper work)
Section Two In-reading
Reading one
1. Before we read the text please think how can we keep a happy marriage? What are the
important ingredients in a happy marriage?
2. Please read the text. Read it through quickly and try to work out the main idea.
And then do exercise one. p6
Text Structure
Part 1 (para.1-para.3)
People’s view about my parents’ marriage -- odd
Part 2 (para.4-para.15)
A special event about my parents
Part 3 (para.16-para.22)
Reconsideration and insight from my parents’ marriage
Check your comprehension
1.T
2.F
3.T.
4. F
5. T
6. F
7.F
3. Read the text for the second time, pay attention to the new words, and complete the
exercises.
Words explanation
1. Secondthought (P1,L2):
A reconsideration of a decision or opinion previously made.
1) Have a second thought
另有想法，重新考虑。
2) He have intended to go, but on second thought, he gives up the idea.
他本来想去，但进一步考虑後，打消了这个念头。
3) Second thoughts are best.
三思而行
2. Drop off(P1, L6)
drop sb. off
you take somebody in your car and leave them somewhere.
drop sth. off
you deliver something somewhere.
1) As soon as David arrived, he dropped his bags off at the hotel and went to the beach.
2) Where can I drop you off? Tell me a suitable place.
3)Ifyou don’t have time, I will drop the children off at school.
3.Be renowned for (P1,L7)
=be famous for
4.take sth upon oneself(P1)
承担一切责任
1) He takes the responsibility upon himself.
他自己背上了责任。
2) Take things as they come .
既来之则安之
5. Placid adj. 平静的; 宁静的; 温和的
in a placid mood =in a clam mood
心平气和-- placidity
6. a change of life 更年期
A lot of women are affected emotionally by the hormonal changes that accompany the change of life.
7. diabetic(P4)
8. hospitalized (P4)
9.extent(P4)
10.on the dot(P14)
11.The glowing compliment
=highly praised
glowing colors 光彩夺目的颜色
a glowing example 光辉的榜样glowing praise 热烈的赞扬
12.Spoke volume=make sense
13.Beleaguer vt.
=experience difficulties or criticism
be beleaguered with annoyance
为烦恼所折磨
14.Browbeaten —browbeat
15.harangue Vt.
=make a long speech to criticize sth
16. The Pearly Gates
=the gates of Heaven 珍珠之门（天国之门
17. Saint Peter: One of the twelve Apostle
[Apostle ]【宗】使徒(耶稣的十二门徒之一); 传道者
最初的传教士
Check your vocabulary B
1.glowing
2. harangued
3. ranting, raving
4. renowned
5. placid
6. grievance
7. beleaguered
8. browbeaten
9. In all honesty
10. took up
4. Go through the text once again and try to summarize the main plot in your own words.
5. Discuss the questions in page 7.
Reading Two
1. Think before reading
a. What are the causes of conflicts in marriage?
b. How to deal with conflicts in marriage?
Reasons for Conflicts in Marriage
Attack on identity
Lack of satisfaction
Misunderstanding and communication gap
Lack of understanding and support
Non-performance of duties and non-fulfillment of responsibilities
Different perceptions on priority and unable to handle the issue jointly
Lack of uncritical humor
Arguments
Adhering to instigating attitudes
How to deal with conflicts in marriage
1. Learn to live with things that you cannot change
2. Communicate whenever you need to strengthen your relationship
3. Do not dwell on your complaints
4. Learn to make requests in a polite way
5. Find common ground rather than argue about details
2. Scan the questions in "Check your comprehension, read the text and find out the answers.
3. Read the text again，learn the new words, and complete the vocabulary test.
4. Discuss the questions in page 12
loop n. 圈，环，循环，回路
v.扣住，圈住
The King had pears looped round his neck.
Loop the wire over the gate to keep it shut.
loop sth over/around
Knock/throw sb. for a loop 使某人惊慌烦恼
in the loop 在圈内
out of the loop 在圈外
adjust
My father went to adjust the television set for my grandmother.
It is necessary to check and adjust the brakes regularly.
harness n. 挽具，马具，系带
v. 治理利用，把……拴在一起，把……系到某物上
To fulfill the task satisfactorily, we need toharness individual talents to one common end.
be back in harness 回来正常工作
in harness with 与……密切合作
trump card 王牌
The coach saved his star pitcher for a trump card.spin
The racing car spun over the track.
Barbara waved as she spun past in her new sports car.
sb's head spins 头晕
spin a story 编故事
spin off 产生
spin out 拖延，拖长
n. 旋转，疾驰
fall into a spin 陷入恐慌
roll one's eyes 眼珠一转，不以为然，瞪白眼
The woman rolled her eyes at Smith.
heave a sigh 叹了口气
They all heaved a sigh of relief when Bob finally left.
?with one's nose in the air 非常傲慢，神气活现，自高自大
?He's been walking with his nose in the air since won the prize.
stink up 把……熏臭
The factory stinks up the town.
Those onions are stinking the whole house up.
kick up a stink 大声抱怨
?Reading Three
?FBI (Federal Bureau of Investigation)
It is an agency of the United States Department of Justice, and the principal federal investigative agency. Functions of the FBI, under its general responsibility of investigating violations of federal law, include the investigation of espionage, sabotage, subversive activities, and other actions related to national security; organized crime and drug trafficking; terrorism; and white-collar crime.
?Read the text and complete exercise one and two in page 15
?Read again and do the vocabulary tests.
?Summarize the main idea
?Have a group discussion on the questions in page 16-17.
?Check your comprehension B
? 1. T 2. F 3. F 4. T 5. T
?Check your vocabulary A
? 1. rock
? 2.fable
? 3.a warning beacon
? 4. zoom
? 5. gleaming
? 6.the last straw
?7.thump
?8. virtually
?9. way beyond one's means
?10.on the grounds
?11. dispiriting
?12.spy
?Check your vocabulary B
? 1. the last straw
? 2. battling it out
? 3. at the expense of
? 4.beyond the means of
? 5. the last straw
? 6.fell apart
?7. confined to
?8.on the grounds
?9.bore the brunt
?10.at the expense of
?Reading four
?Check your comprehension A
? 1. a 2.c 3. d 4.d 5.b
? 1.incidentally adv. =by the way
?I must go now. Incidentally, if you want that book I'll bring it next time.
?我现在该走了。顺便提一句,如果你要那本书,我下次带来。
? 2. keep track of 与…保持联系，跟上…的...发展
?I know that the professor will keep track of my attendance。
我知道教授会记录我的出勤情况/点名。
? 2. Nurturant
?nurture =care for a young child or plant
? a new nurturant father
?新顾家好男人
? 3.Rambling complaints 杂乱无章的抱怨
? 4.Hors d’oevres主菜以外的食品
? 5. Replenish 补充，再装满
? 6.Assume the responsibility for承担责任
?7. Clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies.
嫉妒打乱了我的智慧生活。
?8.Adherence to monogamy
?坚持一夫一妻制
?Munch VS Hors d’oevres
?Munch v. 吃零食
?1) One of the real pleasure of life for me is to sit and munch on hot buttered popcorn while I watch a good movie.
?一面看一部好电影，一面吃着加黄油的爆米花，这对我来说才真是生活里的一大乐趣。
2) No wonder Betty has trouble keeping her weight down. Between meals she munches all day long on potato chips, salted peanuts and candy."
贝蒂吃完饭还是成天吃土豆片、咸花生
和糖果，怪不得她没法减肥呢。
?在美国和其他西方国家，举行正式招待会的时候，或者在正式的晚餐前，主人往往会用一些小点心来款待大家。这种小点心有一个特殊名称，那就是hors d‘oeuvre。
?Hors d'oeuvre在法文里的意思是：
主菜以外的食品。
?check your vocabulary
? 1. rambled
? 2. replenish
? 3. entailed
? 4.monogamy
? 5.cluttered
? 6.adhered to
?7.keep track of
?8.replenished
?9. adherence to
?10. entails
?Section Three Post-reading
?Expressions for relationship
? a bumpy relationship
? a broken home
? a family feud
?relationships can break down because of genuine misunderstanding
? a rift can develop between two peopleor groups
?His love affair with Jane has turned sour. I think they'll split up(break up)
?Our marriage has had its ups and downs, but basically we are OK.
?Let's try and make up
?Their relationship is on the rocks
?They are still in a honeymoon period
?They aren't getting along very well
?They are going through a rough patch
?They can't see enough of each other
?She can't put up with him any more
?They are going separate ways
?They stick together through thick and thin
?Collocations including "marriage"
? a happy/successful marriage
? a broken/disastrous/failed/unhappy marriage
?marriage vows/marriage break up/ marriage breakdown/marriage conseling
?to save one's marriage
? a marriage of convenience
? a shotgun marriage
?The marriage is over/breaks down(up)/ends/falls apart/ fails
?Expressions for marital problems and their solutions
?problems and possible causes
?have very different role expectations
?completely withdraw emotionally (stonewalling)
?unfaithfulness/criticism and nagging/ bossiness/ clinging dependency/
Domination/ abuse/ loss of love/ self-centeredness/ abusive contempt
?Depression/anger can wreak havoc with our lives
?Having unrealistically blissful expectations of marriage guarantees our disappointment ?Marital satisfaction goes down after children are born
?Couples drift apart
?solutions
?Listen carefully, give empathy and positive responses
?Assume responsibility for your own feelings
?State tentative opinions, not absolute certainties
? A little empathy will work miracles
?stop the escalating bitterness
?Don't expect it to be easy; there aremany challenging barriers to having a good marriage.