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初二英语作文修改

初二英语作文修改
初二英语作文修改

20XX年北京市东城区中考英语模拟试卷(一)

十、文段表达。(15分)

根据中文大意和英文提示词语,写出一篇意思连贯、符合逻辑、不少于60词的短文。所以英文提示词语供选用。请不要写出你的校名和姓名。

75. 毕业时刻即将到来,你校英文校刊向初三年级学生征文,题为” My Best Friend”,以此作为对初中生活的纪念。请你写一篇征文,介绍你初中阶段的好友。内容包括他/她的学习情况、性格特点及爱好。(好友的名字用Mary或Jack代替。)

提示词语:hard-working, be good at, friendly, get on well with, dance, draw, win prizes

My Best Friend

is very good at playing basketball and she is friendly in the match. She is

and drawing. She even won some prize s in some competition s. She’s Her hobbies are collecting stamps and do ing sports.

A friend in need is a friend indeed. When I’m in trouble, she always

修改意见:

(一)文章中出现了一些可以避免的语法错误,比如名词的复数( prizes) 和人称代词的使用(her).

(二)文章内容缺失,要求是“介绍你初中阶段的好友。内容包括他/她的学习情况、性格特点及爱好”,但文章中只涉及了性格特点和爱好,学习方面没有提及。

(三)通篇文章简单句使用过多,亮点少,可适当使用复合句。

(四)本篇作文字数不够。虽然题目要求是不少于60字,但一般来说中考的字数要保持在80-100之间,90最为合适,不能超过100。

具体错误:(颜色对应文章中的颜色)

(1)病句。mark 意为“分数”,不能说“她的分数擅长打篮球”。

另外删去第二个she is, 和前面的she is重复了,没有必

要。

(2) 将此句改成so…that..句型,显得句式丰富活泼。

(3)some 后面如果加可数名词,要用复数形式,因为是“一些奖项,一些比赛。”

(4)“她的”是her, 不是she’s

(5) 用give a hand to her 比help her 更有文采。

亮点:

A friend in need is a friend indeed.这句话运用得不错,在作文中适当使用谚语等可以增强文章文采。

总结:

(1)不够细心,有些问题实在不该出现。

(2)平时多练写长句子,避免重复使用简单句,导致文章没有文采(3)认真审题,避免内容缺失。

20XX年北京市海淀区中考英语模拟试卷(二)

十、文段表达。(共15分)

根据中文提示内容,写一篇意思连贯、符合逻辑、不少于60词的文章。请不要写出真实的校名和姓名。

75. 亲爱抽学们,初中生活即将结束!在此离别之际,恰逢21世纪英语周刊征稿,请你以A/An…Person in My School Life为题,介绍一位老师或同学,描述一件发生在你们之间的、令你印象深刻的事情并谈谈你的感受。

A/An Helpful Person in My School Life

I have met many people in my school life. One of them is my friend

about my homework. When she knew that I didn’t go to school, she helped me to take notes and sent my homework to my home. That made me feel very grateful.

修改意见:

(1)字数太少,没达到80-100字。

(2) 重复使用简单句,没有亮点。

(3)“感受”写的太少,有些虎头蛇尾。

具体错误:

(1)One of them is my friend Mary 和she is active and very helpful 分别是两个完整的句子,中间直接用逗号隔开,要加连词连接,或者也可以把she 变成who, 改成非限制性定语从句,增加文章亮点。

(2)stay at home,也发生在过去,所以用一般过去时态。

(3)这句话有点怪异,你既然没上学,不知道家庭作业,她怎么可能把“家庭作业”给你带回家呢?可以改成带回作业本或者告诉你作业。

总结:

(1)时态错误不应该出现。

(2)重复使用简单句,文章没有亮点。

(3)感受谈的太少,虎头蛇尾,另外事情叙述也太简单。

20XX年北京市海淀区中考英语模拟试卷(一)

十、文段表达。(15分)

根据文中提示和力表内容,写一篇意思连贯、符合逻辑、不少于60词的文段。文段的开头已给出,其词数不计入所完成的文段内。请不要写出你的校名和姓名。

75. 现在的中学生每月都有一定数量的零花钱。某校对九年级(1)班的30名学生进行了零花钱用途的调查。结果如下:有的同学常买零食或书籍,有的同学把钱花在手机或其他方面,也有的同学把零花钱存了起来。请你任选图表中的2至3项简述调查结果,谈谈你是如何支配零花钱的,并说明理由。

Nowadays, most middle school students have pocket money every month, and we did a survey in Class 1, Grade 9.

Among the thirty students, we found most of them spend their pocket money on snacks or mobile phones and half of them spend it on books.

In my opinion, pocket money shouldn’t be used a lot to buy snacks be cause snacks aren’t healthy food. I often spend most of my pocket money buying useful books and save some money every month because books

develop ing some good habits.

修改意见:

(1) 内容基本全面,但如果能有一些总结更好。

(2)有些句子表述缺少逻辑性。

具体错误:

(1)表格上很清楚地表明是30个学生参加调查,所以文章中要有所交代。另外,两个完整句之间不能直接用逗号隔开,可用and隔开。(2)这句话说得太绝对了,不是所有的零食都是不健康食品。可以改为“because it’s not good for your health to eat lots of snacks”(吃很多的零食对你的健康没好处).

(3) knowledge 是一个词,不要分开写,固定搭配是be good for doing sth. 另外,我觉得这句话怪怪的,“存钱对养成一些好习惯有好处”,

什么意思?

总结:

写作文的时候要注意语句的逻辑性和严谨性。

(完整版)初中英语作文题目及范文

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初二英语作文大全

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(完整版)初中英语作文范文大全(20201017104440)

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