Communication Differences Between Genders

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Communication Differences Between Genders

作者：赵梓岑

来源：《读与写·教育教学版》2014年第11期

Abstract：Why is it that when a woman says one thing while her husband or boyfriend just hears something completely different？ This article attempts to analyze the reasons and psychological factors behind different communication patterns， thus helps different genders seek a better communication style and enhance mutual understanding.

Key words：gender； communication； difference； understanding

中图分类号：H319 文献标识码： A 文章编号：1672-1578（2014）11-0007-02

Why is it that when a woman says one thing while her husband or boyfriend just hears something completely different？ That is a theme of conversation which can be frequently heard in the offices，restaurants， waiting rooms， parties or long checkout lines among colleagues， friends and even new acquaintances. Just as it is said by a sociologist Dane Archer，‘gender differences in communication are common. Once you start looking for them，you see them everywhere’ （McNulty， 2001）. Sometimes， men and women just communicate so differently that they feel at times like their patterns are from another planet. Understanding such differences between men and women may be of great help to eliminate the misunderstandings caused by the communication differences between the two genders.

Lillian Glass， a speech pathologist and Deborah Tannen， a professor of linguistics at Georgetown University in Washington， D. C.，have long been studying the intricacies of communication pattern in male and female. They have suggested that the differences in communication style between adult men and women are rooted in the fact that they have practically grown up in different cultures when it comes to communicating. （Glass， 1995 & Tannen， 2001）Women generally tend to want connection with others， and to feel close through getting and giving confirmation， empathy and support. For women， an important part of life consists of an effort to develop and preserve intimacy. And conversation helps to achieve this goal. On the other side， men view the world in a hierarchical way such that， during any interaction， one person is in a superior position and the other in an inferior position. In a man’s world， conversations are negotiations in which people try to achieve and maintain the upper hand and prevent others from psychologically putting them down or pushing them around. In her book ‘You Just Don’t Understand： Women and Men in Conversation’， Tannen says，‘Intimacy is key in a world connection where individuals negotiate complex networks of friendship， minimize differences， try to reach consensus， and avoid the appearance of superiority which highlights differences. In the world of status，