7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本-三顾茅庐
Three visits to the cottage
Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted his whole life to the cause and died in harness.
Our script is revised from this story . In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own S Word sman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide.
Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But this play is the result of painstaking efforts of our group. So we present our script to you and wish you will like it.
Three visits to the cottage
Aside: After their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.
SCENE 1: Liubei's home
Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei
Guanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic life end? It's so terrible!
Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come down to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?
Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husband?s CET-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.
Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouse.
Liubei: Alas! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me and go to the mountain for dunning!
Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.
SC ENE 2: ZhuGeliang?s house
Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife
ZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What?s CET-6? Do you know? You?(Ask the audience) I?ve never heart about t hat. And she obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. It?s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?
Wife: Darling!
ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.
Wife：My dear, how about your study?
ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze. I?m dizzy.
Wife：Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can?t pass cet6 to get your master?s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Yangling.
ZhuGeliang：Don?t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don?t need to learn.
Wife：Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!
ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake!
Wife：Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?
ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can?t.
Wife：You can?t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry he re. If I didn?t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now,
ZhuGeliang：Don?t cry, don?t cry, stop! I …m going to study hard at once.
Wife (laugh): That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun for debts.
ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?
Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!
Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?
Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England. .
Keeper: Yes! Madam!
Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of ZhuGeliang?s house.
SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang?s house
Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei Keeper
Zhangfei: Let me strike the door! Open! Open!!!
Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt? (Open the door)
Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.
Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.
Liubei: En????
Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying Eng lish in England for the exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.
Liubei: OK! We are waiting for him here!
Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will come back, thus, let?s go home!
Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn?t see Zhugeliang again. Two month passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snow and very col d outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is outside.
SCENE4 Outside ZhuGeliang?s house
Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei Keeper
Zhangfei: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him up for you. It really should not trouble you to come here time and time again.
Liubei: These days, the borrower is the god! Let?s go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.(Knock the door) Keeper：My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-6. Please wait for a moment!
Zhangfei：Xiao Zhu! Come out! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. Get out, or I will burn your house down!
Guanyu: Sunflower press! AI. Litter brother, big brother has said several times, We are intellectuals, understand? Don't be so rude, we are here for debt, not for his life. If you will kill him, where is our money?
Liubei: The submortagage crisis is so serious, don?t you know that simple reason? If you know, please bat your eyes!
Zhangfei (Bat eyes)
Guanyu: sunflower press!!!!!
Zhangfei: Where did you get this KongFu?
Guanyu: Hehe! I get it from a TV program called “My Own S Word sman”, which is so popular with lots of people i n China!
Zhangfei: Why not say it earlier? We three brother could run a company of Chinese KongFu if we had know that before!
Guanyu: Oh!! That is a good idea!!!!
Keeper: Don?t interrupt!!!! Boss is reading!!!
Liubei: Keep quite!!!
Aside: at this time, zhugeliang is exciting, but his wife come back soon.
SCENE 5: ZhuGeliang?s Home
Actors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei Guanyu
ZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha ha ……….
Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to repay his mo ney. We can?t let him in.
ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don?t worry. I can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver tongue.
Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted you for a long time!
Zhu: Oh! You are Liubei. What can I do for you ?
Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you repay it for me? I have starved for several days.
ZhuGeliang: I owe you $500? who can testify? Please give me a chance, I want to be an honest man.
Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.
Zhu: Please look, although having ambition , you are just a guarder .We can enlarge our power from this base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe that we can reign the whole country.
Liubei: I?m so surprised! I don?t know you are so ideal.
ZhuGeliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your money?
Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new country together with us?
ZhuGeliang: But I can?t help you, I have accustom the life at present.
Liubei: If you don?t help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please don?t refuse.
ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can?t. Because my wife forces me to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me to resolve the problem, I will help you.
Liu: En…..
Zhangfei: (Pull) Brother, come here. Everything is fake now such as the milk. Why can?t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ? Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.
SCENE 6: ZhuGeliang?s Home
Actors: Wife Keeper
Aside: Because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key, Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have been starving for one month.
Keeper：（Happy）Sir , you are really a god . CET6 has got 600 scores. Be really to startle the universe and move the gods.
Wife：What happened? 600 scores? Oh! Do not shoulder your several years studying at a cold window; Do not shoulder my night holding candle accompanying you. After your Master graduates, happy life will approach. Cars, house, money!
SCENE 7: Outside ZhuGeliang?s house
Aside: After receiving the master degree, ZhuGeliang will go to work with Liubei to establish a new Kingdom.So the couples apart. Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei
Wife：Honey!
ZhuGeliang：Darling!
Wife：Excellent man have a long-range ambition. You should put cause above everything else , are sure not to miss me. ZhuGeliang：I will have a long journey .Please take care of yourself.(Turn around) Don?t worried, never miss you!!(Run) ZhuGeliang：(To Liubei)Your Majesty, I will never forget your favour. I should be loyal and devoted to the last.
Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei: Let' go!!!!!
Aside: The three men go down to the hill. That is the end of the whole story. Thank you for your attention.
英语短剧剧本 仲夏夜之梦
荷米亚。。。。夏冰清莱赛德。。。。。。储 狄米崔斯。。。。荷叶粥海伦娜。。。王丽乾 爸爸。。。。王达 仙王。。。。何玉婷仙后。。。。管管 派克。。。。王霜 旁白。。。。孙怡晨 第一幕 口白： There was a law in the city of Athens which gave to its citizens the power of forcing their daughter s to marry whomever they pleased. For if a daughter refused to marry the man her father had chos en to be her husband, the father might by thus law cause her to be put to death. Egeus and Hermia上场 Egeus: Hermia, you have to marry Demetrious, the best guy in the city. 荷米亚，你必须嫁给狄米崔斯，这城中最好的年轻人。 Hermia: I’m sorry, Dad! I can’t be his wife.I don’t love him. I’ve fell in love with Lysander. 爸爸，抱歉。我不能成为他的妻子。我不爱他。我已经爱上了莱赛德。 Egeus: Lysander? Is he better than Demetrious? No! 莱赛德？他会比狄米崔斯好吗？不！ Hermia: Oh! Dad! Demettrious had ever said that he love my friend, Helena, and she, a sweet lady also love him deeply. 喔！爸爸，狄米崔斯曾说过，他爱我的朋友—海伦娜，而这一个甜美女孩也深爱狄米崔斯。Egeus: No matter what you say, I’ve decided to let you marry to Demetrious. I stick to do this! 不管你怎麼说！我已经决定让你嫁给狄米崔斯了，我坚决这样做。 Hermia: Oh! Please, please do not! My dear father! Don’t you love me any more? Don’t give me up, please! 喔，不要，请不要这麼做，亲爱的父亲，你不再爱我了吗？请不要放弃我。 Lysander上场 Lysander: Sweet Hermia, my love! What’s going wrong? Let me wipe your heart-breaking tears! 亲爱的荷米亚，我的爱人，怎麼回事?让我擦掉你那心碎的眼泪。 Hermia: My father said that unless I marry Demetrious, or he’ll be put me to death! What can I do? 我爸爸说，除非我嫁给狄米崔斯，否则他将处死我，我该怎麼办？ Lysander: Fear not and hear me. Tomorrow night, I’ll wait for you in the wood a few miles outside the city. If you really love me, getting far away this sad city with me. 不要害怕并听我说，明天晚上，我将在城外几哩的树林里等你，如果你真的爱我，就和我一起逃离这伤心的城市吧。 Hermia: I will because I love you so. 我会的，因为我如此爱你。
7人搞笑小品剧本
7人搞笑神话小品剧本阎王爷招聘》 主题：运用小品的表现手法，展现当代部分干部用人观。 场景：阴司总管阎王爷创办实体，录用一批聘任制干部。经过判官杨修层层选拨、考试后，由董事长阎王爷亲自面试。 人物（7人）： 应试者服装及道具： 1、刘禅（刘后主，性软弱，皇帝装束） 2、和珅（贪官形象，手提笔记本电脑） 3、纪晓岚（书生打扮，嘴刁眼袋，手拿放大镜） 4、林冲（练武人打扮、手拿一根警棍） 5、潘金莲（风流女人形象，服装尽可能开放些） 6、主考官：董事长阎王爷 7、副主考官：判官杨修 等候面试席和面试考试同在台上； 五人在舞台左部等候；面试在舞台中右部进行。 ****** 杨修：（手拿一卷轴上）问世间钱为何物，直教人生死相许，人间地下逐利客，如此趋之若鹜……我是阴间的判官杨修，阎王爷下海办实体开办一个新公司，他就是公司的董事长。公司需要招聘一批高层管理干部，经过我组织的基本知识和专业技能考试，录用了6名。现在只等董事长亲自面试，择才录用。 （说罢，展开卷轴横挂在舞台中间屏风上，卷轴上书写：阴死阳活有限责任公司高层干部面试现场会。） 杨修：（站在副主考席后）要说我们这些当副职的，这侍奉人的差事真不容易，“聪明只能用七分，藏下三分装子孙”，否则，锋芒毕露，遭主子嫉妒，说不定哪天不丢小命也丢官。办事即要叫主子满意，又得把功劳贴在主子的脸上。好，有请六位应试人入场！ （音乐响，刘禅、和珅、纪晓岚、林冲、潘金莲5人在运动员进行曲声中依次入场，坐在等候面试席，各人神态各异。） 杨修：（扫视一下众人）已经来到五位，尚缺一位。时间已到，我们不等了。下面有请我们公司的董事长，今天的主考官阎王爷大人！ （想起迎宾曲，董事长阎王爷大摇大摆上） 阎王爷：现在人间变化太神奇了，中国的公务员都看不上奥迪了，农民出身的赵本山也开上私人客机了，唯独我们这些神穷得只剩一张皮了，趁着这时不弄点实惠恐怕将来只能“俯首甘为孺子驴”了！ （阎王爷端坐在主考席上） 杨修：主考大人已到，今天面试开始。各位先简要介绍一下自己生前事迹、本人特长，相机回答主考官大人的问题。下面有请刘禅先来。 （刘禅慢腾腾站起，踱步到会场中间，面对主考官。） 刘禅：我叫刘禅，字公嗣，小名阿斗，蜀汉后主刘备的长子，三国时期蜀汉第二任皇帝，公元223—263年在位，后蜀汉被曹魏所灭，投降曹魏，被封为安乐公。 阎王爷：在世人的心目中，你是平庸昏聩之君，在市井街头的平头百姓眼里，你的形象始终是碌碌无为的的庸主一个，被称为“扶不起的阿斗”，难道你真是个昏庸、愚钝甚至有些弱智的君主吗？ 刘禅：我就任蜀汉皇帝共计41年，相父辅佐11年，相父去世后，在贤臣的辅助下做
英语搞笑话剧剧本(四人)
甲:Hello,every one, have you ever seen the movie
三打白骨精英文剧本英语话剧
Monkey Subdues the White-bone Demon Roles: Monkey King(M) 猴哥 Pig (P) 八戒 Tangseng(T) 唐僧 Shaseng(S) 沙僧 White-bone Demon(W) 白骨精 White-bone Demon’Servant(Ws) Young Girl(G) 年轻女孩 Old Lady(L) 老妇人 Fortune teller(F) 先知 Narrator: It’s a very day in the journey to the west, the four monks are travelling in the rolling mountains,in which lives white-bone demon. And she is quite excited to be informed that Tangseng is coming. 师徒四人西天取经，白骨精途中等待。 （1桃花朵朵开） （White-bone Demon with her servant behind steps in the stage） Ws: madam, here is the fresh blood! You look so well today! W: Aha, of cause! A monk called Tangseng is coming and it is said that one who has eaten his flesh will never die or grow old! What a precious opportunity for me it is! I will turn into a beautiful girl to win his heart! （White-bone Demon spinsherself and turned into a beautiful young girl，then waited for the monks to come.） M: master, I feel that there is some evil in this area! (让三人站在呼啦圈内)you three stay in this magical ring and I will go to search for some food! See you later!(悟空跳出舞台) G：oh, god gives me such a wonderful chance!(整理妆容，伴奏2音乐起，走猫步上台)
搞笑英语话剧剧本5-7人--心碎
Heart broken Billing： XiMenchuixue YeGucheng HuaManlou King PanJinlian Narratage/soldier N：A quiet village is covered with white snow. Birds are dancing in the cold. A man is standing in the street. The wind is coming in silence. Another mysterious man approaches . Y与X相遇． Y: Oh , I am sorry to knock into you ! X: Ha ha , Never mind, boy. What’s your name? Y: Ha ha , I won’t change my name, no matter what happens. I’m the most famous-------YeGucheng. Who are you? X: I am XiMenchuixue. Y:Ah??? XiMenchuixue? X: Yes, what’s wrong? Y: I heard that you are the best one in Chinese Kongfu. X: Great, you know me ! Y: But your wife is my first lover. X: What??? Y抱腿: Oh, Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go! X:No, I must kill you ! Y: I don't want to be killed. There is an eighty-year-old mother and a three-year-old son to be looked after by me! X: Noway! Because we are enemies now! You know? Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don't force me! X: 拔刀砍向Y (Y拿出一袋牛奶迎上去) X抢过牛奶: Milk, very good! I like drinking it. How do you know that? Y: Just drink it! X喝完牛奶: Thanks, ha ha. Y: Do you still want to kill me? X: Sure! Milk is milk. Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very nice! I hope you won’t forget what you said!? X:I’m sure I won’t! Y: I must give you a lesson! If I don't beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly!3-2-1-0! X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach, Oach !
大学生英语短剧剧本(4人)
Scene ⅰ: 地点（at campus） 人物：kevin Jason and Rita Jason: Oh ,I’m sorry ,are you ok ? 对不起，你还好吗？ Rita: How familiar! 好眼熟啊！ J: you pick? 是你捡的吗？ Kevin: Shut up ！谁说的！ R and J: Kevin ? 是Kevin 吗？ K: Jasson ? Rita ? Rita:Kevin! Do you know ? I miss you so much. we have lost much romantic without you 你知道吗? 我太想你了kevin,没有你我们少了很多浪漫 Jason:It’s so nosiy here ,let’s find a quiet place to talk.这里太吵了，我们找个安静的地方聊吧 K to R: Is it convenient for you to share your department with me during my finding job?在我找工作期间方便让我住你的宿舍吗? R: Sure ,no problem,as long as avoid dormitory administrator当然没问题,只要躲过宿管就可以了 J: But why? What happened to you ? I thought that after graduation you will live well.但是为什么啊？你怎么了？我以为你毕业后会过的很好
R: You’re such a dream catcher .why are you come back to the place where you were sick of?你那么有梦想的人，怎么还要回到你曾经连做梦都不爽的地方？ K: Because no money ,no job,even there’s no place to live.Nothing at all. 因为我没钱、没工作，甚至连住的地方都没有，一无所有。R：Impossible !这不可能！ K: This is what happened…事情是这样的。。。 Scene ⅱ: (at kevin’s home) 人物：Kevin , land lady Marry M: Open the door, open the door.开门开门 K: What’s wrong ？Marry？有事吗Marry? M: Look,you must be paid as rent, You’ve defaulted if for 6 months. Not only didn’t I take your deposit,but also I disbursed ultilities for half a year. I’m enough of it .pay of f your bills ,right now.听着，你现在必须付房租，你已经拖6个月了，我不仅没收你押金，连水电都帮你垫付了半年。我受够你了，付清账单，现在，马上，立刻，马上！ K: please, I have no money now. Look , I only eat the cheap bread for food . 拜托，我现在真的没钱。看，我只能吃这种廉价的食物。M: Wow , turn to black , is it my dog’s food ? 哇，都变色了！是我家狗的食物吗？
7人小品剧本
7人小品剧本《招聘》 演出人员： 主考官：1（男）扮演者： 考官助理：2（女）扮演者：助理一：助理二： 主持人：1（女）扮演者： 应聘者：3（2男1女）扮演者：甲：乙：丙： 音乐、灯光总监+送花姑娘： 场景：办公室，室内，室外，中间隔一个空气的门，门外，一排长椅，门内，旁边是一把椅子，正面对是一排办公桌，办公桌前有一把椅子。 开场前准备：门内，办公桌前坐主考官及两名助理。 开场：主持上台。 主持人：各位来宾，各位观众，欢迎大家百忙之中来参加我们公司的现场招聘会，首先请允许我代表公司领导向大家表示由衷的感谢，并祝愿大家天天快乐，万事如意，虎年吉祥，谢谢！（来一个90度鞠躬）然后开始介绍招聘岗位和考题。 招聘岗位：销售部经理助理 考题： 1.拉线，由坐在门旁的助理在应聘人员进门时，将门前的一根线拉起，将应聘者拌倒， 考他的应变能力。 2.撤凳，即在应聘者走到主考官面前时，主考官示意他坐下时，由门旁的助理将椅子往 后一拉，令应聘者坐到地上，继续考查他的忍耐和应变能力。 3.捡纸，在应聘者与主考官面谈结束后，会将一张白纸交给身旁的助理，上面写着：恭喜你，你被录取了，并将白纸放到门口。主持人将白纸的大字给观众展示。如果应聘者捡了，就会被录取，如果不捡，等于自动放弃录取资格，主要考察应聘者的思想品德和素质。（不 需要趴到地上，只要踉跄一下，表意即可） 主持在介绍完规则后，开始下面的演出。在此期间，其他参演人员都要笔直的坐在各自 的位子，保持静默严肃的状态，象军人那样。 主持人（回头）：“下面招聘会正式开始，嗯，怎么？国庆六十周年阅兵还没结束吗？(笑) 有请今天的主考官给我们作开场发言。” 主考官（作放松状）：“好，感谢主持人，感谢各位到场的领导和同仁，感谢所有的工作人员，感谢。。。噢，好好，开始！我宣布**公司现场招待会...噢，不，不，是招聘会正式开始，我是本公司的销售部经理，当然考题都是我出的，如有不到之处，请大家多多指教。谢 谢！”站起来向台下鞠躬。 助理二(站起来补充发言):当然我们这个考题是有针对性的,只对销售人员使用,因为他们每天要面对的压力和挫折可能要比今天的考试更严重,所以,我们是有意为之,不要给我们扣侵犯人权的帽子,理解为上,请勿模仿，如有雷同，纯属巧合.谢谢! 主持人：好,下面有请今天前来参加现场招聘会的各位人才上场。 主持人：“首先出场的是一位美女，有请张三。” 主持人：“哎，人呢？张三，张三，张三到没到啊，没到请举手。” 主持人：“张三没到请举手，噢，没到啊，那李四，李四到没到？” 李四举手上场。
《摆摊-卖碟》(7人)年会晚会搞笑小品剧本台词
《摆摊—卖碟》--（7人） 参加演出：卖碟甲、顾客A（男）、顾客B, 顾客C（女），顾客D，朋友E，警察F （如果是日企第一段估计要删减咯） 甲：瞧一瞧看一看真正的甩货真正的清仓随便挑随便选全场都2块买啥都2块 ,2块钱你买不了吃亏 2块钱你买不了上当 2块钱不算贵不用回去开个会 2块钱不白花一年四季都用它——碟！什么颜色的都有哦！（坏笑） 甲：哎，同志，同志！请留步。 A：你认错人了，我不是“同志”！ 甲：啊，“男同志”！ A：你才是“男同志”呢！实话告诉你，我不是同性恋。你找“同性恋”，请到北京三里屯！ 甲：呵呵，您误会啦！ A：行啦！别墨迹了。有事快点说，我这还赶着去**公司社团开会呢讨论大事呢，没功夫跟你闲扯蛋！ 甲：大事？啥大事啊？ A：小日本抢我钓鱼岛，怎么的也要说说理吧 甲：老兄，灭他何必开会讨论，大费周折，我给你推荐，在家看碟就行，保管大快人心，来来来。。。。
A：你？光看碟？别开玩笑了（不削的表情） 甲：瞧这个（拿张碟），《柯南》，一集就死一个日本人。（又拿另一个）看《死亡笔记》，一集死一打日本人。（又指另一个）《海贼王》，一死死一船日本人。还有这个《火影》，一集死一村日本人。这个这个（拿着碟）《奥特曼》，一集死一城日本人。最火的《2012》，30分钟日本岛就没了。。。过瘾不过瘾？不动刀不动枪，日本鬼子死光光（得意）A：去，哥研究的是正事，别瞎搅和，拿10块钱来 甲：干嘛？打劫？ A：买日本岛 甲：我听说不是9块就行吗？ A：那一块钱我帮你顺便捐灾区 甲：啊？（惊讶） A：你去肯德基吃东西都让你捐一块呢，这就顺便一起了，我帮你代劳了 甲：伦家不去肯德基的，肯德基不能吃，都是速成鸡，吃不得的呢（撒娇） 再说，现在禽流感来，保命要紧，小心H7N9。 A：少废话，给钱 甲：这倒没赚钱呢，先捐了10块出去（顺手从口袋里拿出10块钱给A，有点不情愿，念念叨叨） A：（互动全场）来来大家一起捐点来。。捐钱（走下台） 甲：哥，大哥，别忘了帮我登个记啊（冲A离开的方向喊）
4人英语短剧剧本
4人英语短剧剧本[搞笑版大话西游] Three Times’ Beating Monster 人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空E：猪八戒J：沙僧 B：白骨精B1：B变成的村姑B2：B变成的太婆 B3：B变化成的老头N：哪吒 T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now? S: Bajie,map! E: (摸出，递给S) S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E） T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, not to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you! E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回) T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But…… T: Emitofo,nothing is lust(欲望）,lust is nothing! Map? E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So. S: Fat Pig! E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will………. S: You will what(凶相)? E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
7人公司年会搞笑小品剧本《四大才子》剧本
7人公司年会搞笑小品剧本《四大才子》 剧本 --更多年会策划请百度欧凯传媒 2017年公司年会小品剧本 主题：音乐小品《四大才子》 策划：销售部 音乐：销售部 演员：唐伯虎(贵生)、祝枝山(小班长)、文征明(彥峰)、周文斌(付博)、秋香(庞军)、华夫人(立伟)、如花(小白) 秋香：黑丝袜，大裤衩， 如花：大黑痣，大胸，大胡子，馒头 道具：四把扇子，假发、梳妆镜、三条手绢(秋、华、如自备) 灯光聚焦李伟、皮皮，吉他弹唱《蝴蝶花》;（元旦新年搞笑小品剧本《天愚超级选秀》） 唱完第一段(别叹息别叹息，别对我说没有不老的红颜)停 灯光发散全场 华夫人、秋香、如花娇涩状出场，左顾右盼，看热闹状，(左右左整齐扭走)，秋香托胸动作。
秋：华夫人，您瞧，今天在场有这么多帅哥美女，多热闹啊! 华：秋香，你要Hold住哦! 秋香摸腿，故意露出网袜，四处张望，作羞涩状 秋：您不是要我成hold住姐嘛! (表情萌) 华：如花，这么多衰锅在，别再抠你的鼻屎了! 如花继续抠鼻屎，很不情愿的慢慢放下手来，表情猥琐。 如花：(吮手)嗯～～～(嗲音) 文章出自 音乐起(四大老子出场音乐) 四大才子台步浪荡出场，秀香肩，各摆一造型 周：HI，everybody,还记得我吗，我是你们最最亲爱的----小斌斌。(拿出镜子、小梳子梳头)本人文韬武略，上知天文，下知地理，刚从我的粉丝国日本回来，嗬，到日本，刚下飞机，我就看苍姐在机场拉了个特大的横幅写道：欢迎我们的小斌斌来日!我的粉丝们太热情了!哦～～(嗲，小沈阳腔调) 祝(发套，北京腔)：你倒是挺美，我元旦跑去埃及度假，想看看狮身人为什么这么的面像，结果碰上了民众暴力冲突，把我那经典的发型轰成了这个模样(抚摸头发)。 文：(河南腔)，祝兄，谁让你非跑国外呢?我在国内喝着蒙牛，吃着地沟油，看着郭美美和甘露露娘俩，坐高铁出门，路边扶扶老太
大学英语四人情景短剧
角色：四个大学生，名字分别是：A，B，C，D。 （旁白）我们一直在想，所谓的大学究竟应该是怎样，我们一直在迷茫，为什么自己已经回不到高中时期的状态，于是很多人迷失了自己觉得现在的大学配不上自己，于是很多人与曾经的梦想渐行渐远，于是很多人选择了这样的生活。。。。。。 （在四人间的寝室里，灯光昏暗，三台电脑全开，背景音乐是摇滚乐，十分吵杂，配合有不断地鼠标点击的声音，还有打游戏时的喊声。） C：唉，又死了。这垃圾键盘，该死鼠标！垃圾键盘，该死鼠标！ D：哈哈，小撸怡情，大撸伤身，樯橹灰飞烟灭。王跃同志是你不行吧，不要勉强。。。 C：什么？竟敢怀疑我的能力，好歹我也是在咱们寝室积极推广LOL文化第一人好不好？ B: 哎哎，你两别吵了，我在跟媳妇视屏呢，声音小点好不。 C：哦，原来呀，我说网速咋这么慢。（敲门声响起，寝室里停止讲话） B：（上前开门，诧异状）张松？？？？一天不见你了，干啥去了？ A：（拿着书本，满脸疲倦，走进寝室）老样子，还是去自习。 D：（转过身来）我就一直不明白，这是大学了，还起早贪黑上什么自习呀。 C：其实吧，我也挺想改变一下自己。有时候我老想像他一样每天做一点事，真的不能这样浑浑噩噩了。现在这般的生活确实很惬意，只是完了之后老是有一种愧疚感。 B：你们这么一说，我更加觉得我们对不起自己了。跟你们说个事吧，其实我一直就有个梦想，只是到了大学渐渐地把它抛在了脑后 A：说说吧 C：嗯，以前我想当一个企业家，创造出属于自己的一个商业帝国，为了这个梦想我曾经付出了很多努力，可是，唉，但是看看现在，自己一直萎靡不振，大家应该也有梦想吧。 B：我进入大学的时候曾满怀壮志，想要学好我的专业知识，成为一流人才，为了自己能更好的活着而努力。 A：其实吧，我的梦想很简单，就是以后可以和一个自己爱并爱着自己的人过着简单的生活，但要做到这点不是很容易，所以我很珍惜所拥有的每一天。 D：我的梦想是做一位美食家，我想吃遍天下美食，然后把它们推向世界，中国美食有着中国上下五千年文化的积蕴，不应该泯灭在历史的长河中，可现在我离梦想越走越远。 A：古人曾说过少年智则国智，少年富则国富，少年强则国强，我们的梦，中国的梦，中国梦，从我们的梦开始；当我们的梦实现之时，中国母亲的梦也就会实现，这时，我们民族可以无晦涩地立在人类面前，我们的祖国母亲也会最美的装饰起来，与世界各位母亲平等的携手了! D：是啊，不仅如此，我们身上还有父母们梦想的影子，我们还有很多的责任。 （旁白）最终，我们明白了，不是现在的大学配不上你，而是现在浑浑噩噩的你配不上你曾经的梦想。其实我们的梦想从未离我们远去，只要让自己静下心来，让自己的梦想与祖国的梦想联系起来，我的梦，中国梦，我们已经在追梦的路 上了。
应聘》人搞笑小品剧本小品剧本相声剧本 节目表演
《应聘》-5人搞笑小品剧本（爆笑) 人物：2个考官，3个应聘者 （某公司招聘推销主管） 应聘者：龙民：一个农业养殖户，泰有才：一个没有社会背景的高才生，贞有权：一个官家子弟。 泰有才（背这手，度着步子，抬着头思索状）：岁月不留人，时间飞逝过，如今的市场，我也来竞争 贞有权（西装革履，大步走上）：根据本人的调查，在这个竞争日益激烈的市场，要求一份好的工作的确很难，同志们呐，为了生存我也来此应聘了。 第一个考官说：你们都是来应聘的，我们公司要的是推销方面的人才，要么有学历，要么有经验你们都是有学历的人。。 （突然从门外闯近来一个破烂衣服的人，跑得太急差点摔倒） 闯近来的农民边挠头边憨厚的说：大姐，对不起，俺迟到了 （副考官怒火直冒）：谁是你大姐`本姑娘才一支花的年龄！！诶怎么会突然冒出这么个人出`！ #策吧网 （龙民惊讶的看着考官说）：大姐俺村没一支一支的花只有一大把一大把的`！（做夸张的，用抱的姿势来形容花多） （副考官捏紧拳头强忍怒火的样子说）：好了。现在开始自我介绍，把你们的姓名，住址，年龄，民族，生日，性别，婚姻状况，学历。。。。报上来
（3个应聘者作惊讶状）（主考官笑笑说）：不用这么多，把你们的名字和学历经验报上来就行 贞有权：这才差不多，否则我还以为到派出所了`！ 泰有才：我叫泰有才，泰国的泰，本人硕士毕业，经过学校文化的熏陶，经过社会的磨砺，经过人生的考验，我来到了贵公司应聘。我将把我的知识为公司推销，用我的文化来推销，把世界观，价值观，荣辱观带到公司的整体利益中来。。。。 副考官：停停停，罗嗦，下一个！（泰有才扶了扶眼镜，把头一昂退了退） 贞有权：我叫贞有权，贞德的贞。我毕业于那个什么H大，由于社会的竞争，恩，是吧，我来到了这个公司，然后呢，我想竟聘这个职位，我的话说完了，谢谢各位 copyright 策吧网 （中间考官动作自己加） 龙民：俺叫龙民，一条龙的龙（全场暴笑）俺别的没有，就是经验丰富，具体有啥经验请听下回分解。 贞有权：到底是龙民，名字都取得这么农民 主考官:好了好了好了，开始提问 副考官：请问如果有一个漂亮的姑娘出现在你面前你要怎么推销自己让她接受你 龙民：考官，能不能不要俺已经有媳妇了，俺怕俺媳妇不让俺睡床。 （愤怒）副考官：假设，假设懂吗`！！
四人英语话剧剧本
四人英语话剧剧本-The Rolling Orange The Rolling Orange讲述桔子的故事。一天早上，桔子一家醒来，发现人们开着卡车，搬着梯子，来摘桔子了，快来看看他们的命运如何吧。 人物 Tom: Father Orange Klye: Mother Orange Wallis: Older Sister Orange Jessie: Little Brother Orange Characters Father Orange: He is a middle-aged, considerate, and thoughtful man. Mother Orange: She is a younger and more youthful woman than Father. She is also very optimistic. Older Sister Orange: She is young , energetic, and competitive . Little Brother Orange: He is the youngest and, therefore, a little spoiled. SCENE I 场景一：果园 One Morning in an Orange Orchard. (Today is a sunny day . An orange family is discussing nervously about something on an orange tree in an orchard. ) Father: I was awakened early this morning by the sound of trucks in the field (yawning). Mother: Well, it wasn’t the first time to be like this. Sister: A whole bunch of strange men was brought in by trucks. Brother: That really scared me. They got out and started to climb up ladders. Sister: (Afraid suddenly) Oh! My friends were grabbed and put into large bags. I could hear them yell for help. Father: Hey! We shouldn’t look at them; otherwise, they’ll notice us. Mother: But it’s useless. Sister: Oh, God! We’re discovered! Brother: Oh! We’re being grab bed and pulled from our branches. What will we do for food and water? Sister: It will be so uncomfortable going to town in that bag with a lot of strangers. Mother: Well, we’ll just have to do our best. Father: Y eah! SCENE II On a Fruit Stand. (After having been on the road in a bag for half an hour, they are placed on a fruit stand. ) Sister: Gee! This place is so cold and desolate. I wish we had our friends here on this stand (looks at the opposite fruit stall). Brother: I tried to make friends with these people on our way here, but everyone looked pretty uncomfortable and scared. (Suddenly) Sister: Oh! Mother! How could they do that?
【英文剧本】7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本-三顾茅庐
Three visits to the cottage————By FRIENDS Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser1. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity2, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted3 his whole life to the cause and died in harness. Our script is revised from this story and writed by my classmates of group FRIENDS. In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own Swordsman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting4 Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide. Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But this play is the result of painstaking5 efforts of our group. So we present our
培训专题-年会节目必备：七人搞笑小品剧本(7个)
7人搞笑小品剧本 目录 2 7人农村主题小品剧本《全都笑了》 (7) 亲情情感舞台话剧（想着父亲的家） (15) 21 26 32 35
7人搞笑神话小品剧本【阎王爷】招聘》 主题：运用小品的表现手法，展现当代部分干部用人观。 场景：阴司总管【阎王爷】创办实体，录用一批聘任制干部。经过判官【杨修】层层选拨、考试后，由董事长【阎王爷】亲自面试。 人物（7人）： 应试者服装及道具： 1、【刘禅】（刘后主，性软弱，皇帝装束） 2、【和珅】（贪官形象，手提笔记本电脑） 3、【纪晓岚】（书生打扮，嘴刁眼袋，手拿放大镜） 4、【林冲】（练武人打扮、手拿一根警棍） 5、【潘金莲】（风流女人形象，服装尽可能开放些） 6、主考官：董事长【阎王爷】 7、副主考官：判官【杨修】 等候面试席和面试考试同在台上； 五人在舞台左部等候；面试在舞台中右部进行。 【杨修】：（手拿一卷轴上）问世间钱为何物，直教人生死相许，人间地下逐利客，如此趋之若鹜……我是阴间的判官【杨修】，【阎王爷】下海办实体开办一个新公司，他就是公司的董事长。公司需要招聘一批高层管理干部，经过我组织的基本知识和专业技能考试，录用了6名。现在只等董事长亲自面试，择才录用。 （说罢，展开卷轴横挂在舞台中间屏风上，卷轴上书写：阴死阳活有限责任公司高层干部面试现场会。） 【杨修】：（站在副主考席后）要说我们这些当副职的，这侍奉人的差事真不容易，“聪明只能用七分，藏下三分装子孙”，否则，锋芒毕露，遭主子嫉妒，说不定哪天不丢小命也丢官。办事即要叫主子满意，又得把功劳贴在主子的脸上。好，有请六位应试人入场！
（音乐响，【刘禅】、【和珅】、【纪晓岚】、【林冲】、【潘金莲】5人在运动员进行曲声中依次入场，坐在等候面试席，各人神态各异。） 【杨修】：（扫视一下众人）已经来到五位，尚缺一位。时间已到，我们不等了。下面有请我们公司的董事长，今天的主考官【阎王爷】大人！ （想起迎宾曲，董事长【阎王爷】大摇大摆上） 【阎王爷】：现在人间变化太神奇了，中国的公务员都看不上奥迪了，农民出身的赵本山也开上私人客机了，唯独我们这些神穷得只剩一张皮了，趁着这时不弄点实惠恐怕将来只能“俯首甘为孺子驴”了！ （【阎王爷】端坐在主考席上） 【杨修】：主考大人已到，今天面试开始。各位先简要介绍一下自己生前事迹、本人特长，相机回答主考官大人的问题。下面有请【刘禅】先来。 （【刘禅】慢腾腾站起，踱步到会场中间，面对主考官。） 【刘禅】：我叫【刘禅】，字公嗣，小名阿斗，蜀汉后主刘备的长子，三国时期蜀汉第二任皇帝，公元223—263年在位，后蜀汉被曹魏所灭，投降曹魏，被封为安乐公。 【阎王爷】：在世人的心目中，你是平庸昏聩之君，在市井街头的平头百姓眼里，你的形象始终是碌碌无为的的庸主一个，被称为“扶不起的阿斗”，难道你真是个昏庸、愚钝甚至有些弱智的君主吗？ 【刘禅】：我就任蜀汉皇帝共计41年，相父辅佐11年，相父去世后，在贤臣的辅助下做了30年的皇帝。在那个群雄割据的动乱时代，能执政这么久，你们说这是一个如此昏庸的皇帝能做到的吗？ 【阎王爷】：请谈谈你的用人策略。 【刘禅】：作为皇帝必须有一个政治家宽容大度、知人善任的胸怀。我继承帝位时，年 仅17岁。皇父临终前特意叮嘱：“汝与丞相从事，事之如父”。我把所有的事情都“按丞相说的办”，对相父凡事谦让，以父事之，实乃为国家着想，不想引起国内的政治混乱。相父发动北伐战争，我深知国内实力与其他二国相差甚远，内心虽然不赞成，但还是为其鼓劲加油，我深知“君臣不和，必有内变”的道理。对长辈尊重，团结内部领导班子，保持领导集团的稳定，让老百姓得到实惠，因此有人评价我“后主之贤，于是乎不可及”。 【阎王爷】：你降魏后，司马昭在一次大宴蜀国君臣时，特意令人奏起了蜀地音乐，以观察你的反应。蜀国旧臣听后无不现出悲慽之容，只有你一人不悲反笑，开心得不得了，活脱脱是一个缺心少肝、苟且偷安的皮相。司马昭当时就跟人说，一个人没有心肝怎么可以到这种地步！后来司马昭又去问你还想念蜀国吗？你马上回答“此间乐，不思蜀”，请问你真的是不思故国吗？
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